Nesting

I assume what I've been doing in the past week / days has something to do with nesting, and not just my usual sense of organization (and my apparent lack of common sense, when it comes to some actions, but more on that later).

Ever since the conference I was working on has happened and my workload has significantly decreased, I've been catching up on things around the house that were patiently waiting for me to have more time, but there was a definite tug from the baby department, calling me to start preparing for the arrival of baby #2.

First, I'd been having my eye on a very cool design co-sleeper - something I'd like to have as I don't want to repeat the first six months we had with son #1 (and of course this baby's sleep habits might be completely different, but I want to be better prepared this time in case they are similar to #1), i.e. getting up every 1.5-2hrs at night for 4 months in a row until I was so exhausted that I had completely lost myself (both mentally and physically - I lost way too much weight). However, as is always the case with a cool design, it came with a heavy price tag and it wasn't in stock for a long time. When I told hubby about it he thought I was completely nuts  - why spent so much money on it if you're only going to use it for about six months. I knew he was right, and though I had planned to ask it as a gift from my always very generous grandmother, I was wondering if I wasn't overstepping it. So... to make a long story short, I started browsing the lovely interweb and found a very suitable alternative, available here in France, with a much friendlier price tag and grandma was OK with paying for it. So I immediately ordered it because I had a 15% discount coupon (but of course the next day I received a 30% discount coupon from the same store, which made me a little mad) and a few days later it arrived at our doorstep and of course I immediately had to assemble it.

In co-sleeper mode, with one side down

In bassinet mode, with all sides up

Next to our bed, with the veil my mom made for the crib #1 slept in (and #2 will use too when it outgrows this one)

It is still standing in our bedroom, but of course not directly next to the bed. When our toddler saw it for the first time, he wanted to know what it was, so I said it was a little bed for the new baby. The next day he walks into our bedroom, he sees the bassinet and he says "shh, baby's asleep".

Then, as we only have a 2BR apartment, both kids will have to share a bedroom once the baby has got some sleep routine going. Our toddler's room still contains some office elements (a desk, which we never use anymore, except to put piles of bills on to be filed away and a few books for evening story time; and a file cabinet) which have to be moved out (desk to be put away in storage, file cabinet to our bedroom) so there will be room for the baby's crib and a second chest for a combination of toys (a system from the well-known blue and yellow Swedish superstore) and clothes for our toddler. The lower part (a three-drawer chest) is currently in the living room, but will have to make room for the play pen which we're going to set up again, and then we'll put a taller unit on top of it with wire baskets and a clothes rail).

So for the past two weeks I'd been composing my shopping list on the Swedish superstore's website, I also added a bar stool for myself, so I don't always have to stand when preparing meals, step stools so the toddler can brush his teeth without me having to pull him up to the vanity, underbed storage boxes (for more toys) etc. Last Thursday the store near our city finally had everything in stock what I needed, so off I went, with toddler in tow and my shopping list all printed out (which very handily listed where in the warehouse part of the store various items could be found). It all started out great, still had toddler contained in the shopping cart when passing through the Christmas ornaments (and of course buying them too), but then I needed a second cart for the bigger items. And then he stood up in the other cart, wanted to be on the flatbed cart - started running through the warehouse aisles, and oh my.... I was sweating and cursing myself for doing this (but at the same time I really get a kick of going to this store and being able to check everything off my list, even when eight months pregnant, just the toddler-chasing did me in). Then we arrived at the checkout and there were huge lines, also for the priority (ie pregnant women) checkout lanes. I never feel comfortable cutting in front of a lot of people just because I'm pregnant, but a woman waiting in line in front of me took one of the carts and brought me right up to the checkout, I gave an apologetic look to the lady who was first in line, and she graciously let me pass (and then looked at my carts and I could see her think "this woman is nuts").

All in all the trip went well, despite having to change shirts once home (and yes, I left the heavy items in the car for hubby to take out when he gets back) but this trip, in combination with the broken nights I've been having because our toddler is abusing the fact that daddy hasn't been home for the past week (so he wakes up in the middle of the night, wanting to sleep with mommy in the big bed. I'm mostly too tired to try to keep him in his own bed, but he takes a while before falling back to sleep if at all) really got to me yesterday evening. Of course our toddler isn't getting the sleep he needs either, so he's crying and throwing tantrums, while I try not to lose my temper (not always successfully) or cry myself, while my whole body hurts and tells me to just please lie down. It only got better this evening, after we'd both had a good long nap and we just stayed home and cooked dinner instead of running errands or trying to see friends.

Three more sleeps until hubby's back home. Hopefully our toddler will come back to his senses when it comes to his nighttime sleeping then too.

Pretty stupid

So in yesterday's post I wrote a little bit about the various meds I'm taking. The magnesium tablets however were giving me a hard time, in that they are pretty impossible to swallow. I was already breaking them in two or three pieces, but even then it remained a challenge. So this morning I had a look at the box to see what was actually in them (various homeopathic forms of magnesium) so I could go to the pharmacy and buy those ingredients as granules.

Then my eyes wandered over to the directions: three times a day (OK was doing that, as the pharmacist had told me so), preferably not during mealtime (oops, had taken them at mealtime, as that's the easiest way for me to remember), by breaking them and then letting them dissolve under your tongue.

Right... no wonder they were hard to swallow! Today's tablets have been a lot easier to take...

And then partly in response to Valery's question whether they were doing anything against my leg cramps. Yes, I do think so, even when I swallowed them... (but as a rule with all homeopathic medicine, you have to believe!)

8-month checkup

Just a quick update on my checkup of this afternoon at 33w2d. Everything still going great! Doc said the baby is still very high so I shouldn't worry about anything this month. The little one is super active, which is a joy to feel each and every time.

The stats:
Weight: +1.5 kg since last month
BP: 110/60
Fundal height: perfect (didn't get the measurement)
Cervix: Long and closed
Belly/Uterus: Soft
Fetal HR: good (didn't get reading)

Currently (still) on the following meds:
2 iron tablets a day
1 baby aspirin a day (which I can stop at 35w0d)
1 stool softener a day
2-3 magnesium tablets a day (this was not prescribed by my OB, but the midwife whom I'm taking the birthing classes with advised me to take them when I mentioned my leg cramps)
3x 3 9ch granules of cuprum metallicum (homeopathic medicine) a day (self medication, also for leg cramps)
1 prenatal vitamin a day (self medication)

Got my blood work done right after seeing the OB so that'll be ready for my consult with the anesthesiologist coming Monday.

Am planning to write a few more thoughtful posts than these easy stats and updates, but have to find a time of day to do that when I'm less tired.

6-month checkup and other updates

Sorry again for the long hiatus in posting - I'm just extremely busy - and I even forgot my blogoversary again (the third, I've missed all of them)! Things should be slowing down after November 10, when the conference I'm co-organizing will be over. Of course I got two paid projects this week (one has to be finished by Monday morning, the other by Friday), so I work many days (especially the ones when I have my son at home) from when the toddler is in bed until about 11:30 pm. Yeah, probably not very wise for a 6-month pregnant woman, but luckily I'm still in my energetic second trimester, hopefully the feeling will last until the magic date of November 10!

Last week Monday I went for my 6-month OB checkup. The doc was as enthusiastic as ever and everything was fine!
The stats:
Weight: +1 kg since last check-up
Blood pressure: 100/60
Fundal height: good
Cervix: no changes since last time (long, closed, firm)
Uterus: tonic - and the doc was all excited that she could feel the baby.
Fetal HR: good (didn't get the reading) - with the mention that boys' HRs are often a little slower than girls' (so then can run faster later...)

Continuing the baby aspirin and stool softeners, and got a prescription to get some compression stockings because she thought my legs looked a bit damaged. Well, I didn't really agree - or at least, to me they don't look more 'damaged' than usual or than with my previous pregnancy: spider veins and bruises (I often take corners a bit too sharp in the house). My legs don't hurt and I do have cramps sometimes, but they were much worse in my first pregnancy and then she just prescribed magnesium supplements and never mentioned compression stockings. But the good girl that I am, I went to the pharmacy and bought two pairs anyway and even tried them on. They are really long (like real stockings, not like the ones that come up to your knees only) and the compression part is OK, but the 'glue' band on top is really annoying! I told the pharmacy when I went to pick up the second pair (that was on back-order) and they sold me some 'barrier' cream, which is supposed to help with the scratchy feeling, but to be honest, it doesn't do much. Anyway, we'll see how much I'll use them...

Then this Monday I had to go to the lab for my glucose tolerance test. Two hours 'lounging' in the lab room with a total of three blood draws (fasting, 1h after glucose intake and 2h after glucose intake) with an iPod that I'd forgotten to charge... (did have my iPhone, but after updating to iO.S 5 I somehow had lost my music because I synced it with one of our other computers...). When I got up for the final blood draw I got a very weird and painful feeling in my legs. I mentioned it to the lab technician and she said it might be from getting up too soon after having laid down for two hours and told me to sit in the waiting room until it felt better... Luckily it did, although I felt funny the rest of the day (and almost fainted at the butcher store at the end of the day). Got the results back yesterday and I passed (funny though that my glucose level at 1h was lower than the fasting level).

OK, this post has become way too long. I know there have been requests for a belly pic and I will do my best... also would like to post a graph of the weekly belly measurements I take (did the same with my first pregnancy, when I didn't take any pics at all). But that will all have to wait for another post, hopefully I'll have some time next week.

Things I've learned during this pregnancy

In no particular order...

Prenatal swimming / aquatic exercises are heaven for my lower back.

Homeopathic anti-constipation medicine just doesn't work. I had hoped I could stop the stool softeners but that was just wishful thinking...

Homeopathic anti (leg) cramp medicine does seem to work, but not always...

Taking baby-gym courses with my toddler is super exciting for him, but exhausting for me. Fortunately we do it with two friends, so they can pitch in when I need a break.

Toddler swimming is fun for us both (and not so exhausting for me).

I think I'm going to live in the maternity yoga pants I just bought for the remainder of the pregnancy (oh, and I love online shopping for maternity wear, very dangerous!).

I love the thought of having two boys and don't understand people's reaction when they ask if I'm disappointed that we're not having a girl.

I have no idea what is going through my toddler's head when he sees my growing belly, but every evening he wants to read the book about the girl who's getting a little brother. He especially loves the images where the baby is upside down in the mother's belly. He also seems to get more clingy the bigger my belly gets.

I love being pregnant (I already knew that from the first time, but this time is even better/more relaxed).


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

I take that back...

...regarding the leg cramps.

Woke up this morning with a horrible cramp in my left leg - but not the back, but on the side - horrible place, because the usual trick of pulling your toes in the direction of your nose doesn't work...

Past the halfway mark

That's right - I'm 20w4d today, so even according to my French city's standards - which counts 40w3d for due dates - I'm into the second part of my pregnancy. Only if this one decides to stay inside as long as his or her older brother, then I'm not quite there yet...

Anyway, it doesn't really matter. Everything is going the way it should. Belly is growing, I feel the baby moving more and more, and I'm feeling pretty good. Leg cramps are nothing compared to my first pregnancy, but maybe that's still to come or the homeopathic treatment I gave myself (cuprum metallicum and nux vomica) did the trick, who knows...

I bought a doppler after I saw that it was much cheaper than I thought those things would be, but to be honest, I hardly use it. I prefer feeling the baby's kicks and moves - somehow I feel that those are signs he/she wants to give me him-/herself that everything is going okay in there, and with the doppler I'm somehow intruding on his/her space, or is that weird?

We should know the baby's sex at the next ultrasound in two weeks time. Somehow I'm thinking it's a boy, but no real reason for it other than that I don't know any better as my previous pregnancy was a boy. Friends around my son's babysitter say it must be a girl because a few of their pregnant friends who are due in January are all expecting girls. But then I think that ours was conceived a few months earlier, so their 'wisdom' might fall short...

I had my first prenatal yoga class this evening and it was good. A different class and teacher than I had with my first pregnancy, I think I like this one better (she's also a midwife), a little more down-to-earth. Classes are every other week, so I will try to get some discipline to also do some exercises at home, although knowing myself that will probably not happen...

I've also signed up for prenatal swimming/water exercises for which classes begin next Friday (you see, it's "la rentrée" - referring to start the new school year at the beginning of September, but also meaning all other activities, even if they're not meant for school children at all, have a summer hiatus and start up again in September - and oh my if you're trying to get into a class in mid-season!). Looking forward to that. It's in an aquatic center a bit out of town, but looks very nice, much better than the municipal swimming pools close by. We've also signed up for Saturday morning 'swimming' activities with our toddler at the same center since he showed so much love for being in the water this summer, so that should be fun too.

Other than that I'm still extremely busy with work. Had a huge deadline today, which I still haven't met, but I'm now waiting for input from two other people before I can send the docs off, so it's pretty much out of my hands (and I figured everyone has gone home anyway, so not much difference if they get it now or tomorrow or Sunday - besides, did I mention I don't get paid for this job...?! - but it's worth it, I hope). Luckily I didn't get any angry emails or phone calls, so I'm pretty zen.

Recap of the past month

Thankfully the heat wave is over! After a short and pretty mild thunderstorm cool air is flowing into our apartment again.

Our vacation didn't exactly go as planned, but was really nice nonetheless. It started with a drive up north (not all the way to Holland, but to Belgium) to celebrate my husband's uncle 50 years of priesthood. It was nice but also a bit weird - to hubby's uncle, his brothers are clearly more like family than his real family, which is understandable, but makes these celebrations in a way a bit awkward as well. But it was good to see the family, even though most things stayed pretty superficial (which was OK with me, no need for another fight between hubby and his sister).

After that we drove a few hours south, to a chic Parisian suburb, where my sister was staying with her family (they had done a house exchange for the holidays). The weather turned a lot better and it was great fun seeing our toddler interact with his cousins (whom he doesn't see that often as they live in California).

Then the plan was to drive in the direction of Bordeaux, where we would exchange our car for my dad's camper van (who was already vacationing with his girl friend there), take a 10-day trip with the camper van, after which we would return it to my dad at our home. But, my dad got sick. It wasn't very clear what kind of infection he had picked up, and whether it was viral or bacterial, but the main message was "your daughter can come visit but there should be no contact". Well, that seemed super artificial to us (and try to tell our toddler that he cannot hug his granddad, or maybe he can, but if he does, he cannot be held by his mommy anymore? Not a good idea). So we made the decision to cancel those plans, go home first, and then see from there what we would do.

I must say that the whole idea of going back home made me feel pretty miserable. I was supposed to be on holiday! But once we were back home, having our own things, sleeping in our own bed, it wasn't that bad after all. Also because by the time we were back, we had made a plan what to do next: we decided to stay home for a few days, let a cold/rainy front come through and once the sun would come out again, we would put our tent and other camping gear in the car and drive two hours to a valley we'd passed through a couple of times on our way south (via country roads) and had fallen in love with.

If we ever win the lottery, we want to live here...

So off we went. The surroundings were even more beautiful than we remembered, the campsite was nice, but the first night was interesting! I had consulted the weather forecast for the area, but only looked at day temperatures, which were really nice and warm. However, the first three nights were cold! Our poor son woke up the first night because his sleepsack and summer PJs were just not warm enough. We took him between us where he fell asleep immediately again, despite our air mattress slowly getting softer and softer, until we were on the ground! I also felt some leg cramps (which were horrible during my first pregnancy) coming up, but fortunately they stayed pretty mild and were manageable. So the next day we went to the store to buy a warm camping sleeping bag for our son and a new air mattress for ourselves, because despite having a repair kit handy, we couldn't find the leak!

The following days and nights were much better, even though our son was suffering from two emerging molars, and winced every time we had to wipe his red butt. Being pregnant while camping had its challenges too: I decided to stop taking my anti-constipation medicine, because it made me go to the toilet a bit too often. And speaking of toilet, of course I woke up in the middle of the night having to pee - quite an excercise, but oh well, luckily it was only once a night (and the stars were beautiful!).

All in all we had a lovely week, but when we came home we were also very glad to find our own bed again, having a fridge, and not having to bend over a tiny cooking stove when preparing meals.

Then the work crisis hit that I wont' bother you with.

And finally we did manage to meet up with my dad and his girl friend. They drove up with the camper van to a campground near our city and we spent last weekend with them, which was really nice. They're now on their way back to Holland.

And to finish this post, yesterday was my third OB appointment (at 18w1d) and both the bub and I are doing great! I didn't get any of the measurements other than the upper part of my BP (110) and my weight (again +2 kg from last month's appointment, so +4 kg in total), but everything was fine. Got to hear the bub's heart beat via the doppler which was wonderful. The OB was somewhat surprised that I already felt movement (since around week 15) and remarked that my belly had really popped (it has). She also had my T21 results: 1/617 (threshold is at 1/250). Maybe not super great numbers, but better than the result with my first pregnancy (which was somewhere around 1/450) which turned out fine and the OB told me there's no reason to worry, and I agree. So everything is going well! I just have to go to the lab early next week again for monthly blood and urine work and then the next OB checkup and ultrasound will be on September 19.

9w0d - first OB appointment

First of all, my apologies for my badly written previous post. Somehow I had intended to write a really eloquent post about time and missing my mom, but it came out pretty horribly. Oh well...

Today was my first OB appointment. I still have to laugh when all the doctors here immediately grab the color wheel to determine how far along I am in my pregnancy/what my due date is. The ultrasound doc even asked me if I had one at home when I told her I was 5w4d pregnant before she had set the wheel to the right dates. I answered that no, I didn't, but that I do have internet...

When I made the appointment I had told the assistant about the pregnancy, but my OB hadn't checked my file yet, so she didn't know and was happily surprised when I told her. She knew about the FET (I had told her when I came in with my son a few months ago when he was sick - she also does pediatrics) and she kept repeating how happy she was for me during the consult.

She checked my BP (I forgot to ask the numbers), weight (+2 kg from pre-FET), breast and cervix (all fine) and gave me a prescription for all the blood tests I have to get done during my pregnancy. The T21 test has been moved up from the second to the first trimester, so that will have to be done right after my next appointment, when I'm around 13 weeks pregnant. We also set up appointments for the coming five months (up until the 7th month of pregnancy, from then on the consultations will still be with her, but at the hospital instead of her private practice).

The crampy belly/lower back pain seems to have been replaced by headaches. Not really an improvement, but for today another excuse not to get anything done that's on my to-do list (which I will regret again tomorrow of course).

Time

Sorry for being MIA for a while - I've been a bit too busy and with two long public holiday weekends my 'me-time' was limited.

Other than that I'm fine. I think I'm starting to get a little belly (hubby says it's because I eat too many cookies - he's crazy). My regular size pants don't fit anymore in the evenings. Until my first pregnancy I wore a size larger and I kept those clothes - they now come in very handy (I also unpacked some of my maternity clothes, but those are still way too big - also partly due to the fact that these are in my previous size). Worst part of the day for me is somewhere between lunch and dinner - my belly then feels slightly crampy, I have lower back pain and am tired. Sometimes the crampy belly prevents me from taking a good nap. I'm hungry most of the time. Yesterday I was watching a cooking program on TV after dinner and I swear, I could have eaten everything that I saw.

I got my registration for the hospital's l&d and maternity ward sorted - am #7 for the registrations that started this week for due dates end of January/early February (as I live in an area with many fertile myrtles and a popular hospital, you have to register pretty early on in your pregnancy to be sure there is a bed available for you).

Time is playing strange tricks on me - when I think about my due date (end of January), I picture it as being only about five months away, upcoming OB appointments or ultrasounds are in my idea somehow scheduled in November/December instead of June/July. It seems that I relate everything back to my first pregnancy (which debuted early October '08), but I wonder if it also is somehow linked to my mom's illness and passing (she received her 'death sentence' in last September and passed away in November), because when I read about friends' babies that were born in January/February I think they're only three months old instead of five - somehow I'm still stuck in November.

I'm feeling my mom's absence more and more now - my dad inquires about my health and feelings, but when I then tell him about my symptoms he will ask "is that all normal in this stage of pregnancy?" - so far away from what my mom's reaction would be - relating to her own pregnancies, or maybe my own first - I cannot call her anymore to tell her about new appointments or funny symptoms. I also missed her a lot when we were in the south of France two weeks ago, my dad (and his new girlfriend, but that's a whole other story) were with us - we were housesitting a friends' of my parents house. Our toddler just got over a stomach flu and was still waking up every morning at six (luckily he's now back to his usual routine of 7:30 am). Taking him to our bed for some extra snooze time was no option - he wanted to get up and mommy had to come with him. So I watched Sesame Street with my son while the rest of the house was still asleep, I made him a bottle and myself a cup of tea, and I longed for my mom, who was always an early riser, and who would have gotten up if she had heard us and made us some breakfast. Now the other adults didn't show their faces until two or three hours later (when my son and I felt ready to take a nap!).

Third beta and some ramblings

Yesterday I went to the lab for my third and final beta: 1626! So still with a steady doubling time around 41 hours. All is good.

This also means I've graduated from my RE - we're on our own for our first scan, even though the RE would like to be kept updated (I still don't understand why they don't do the first scan at their clinic and then hand you over to your regular OBGYN, but oh, well, that's French logic for you).

With the first pregnancy this took me by surprise, but of course now I was prepared, so I booked the scan as soon as the results of my second beta were in. I go to separate OBs for the checkups and the scans (my OBGYN, who's actually a GP, but does mainly OBGYN and pediatrics, doesn't have u/s equipment). Both are always overbooked. So while I was thinking about a scan in the week of June 6 (we're away the week before), the 'u/s OB' proposed this Friday, which surprised me, because it's really early (5w4d), but she assured me it would be a good time to check the development and said that we might even be able to see a heartbeat. So I took the appointment, figuring that if we wouldn't see a heartbeat yet, I could try to get a second scan two weeks later. (My first regular OB appointment is not until June 20).

Of course, because I have nothing better to do, I consulted Dr Google on this as well, resulting in very vivid and strange dreams (one time even a nightmare involving my toddler, I will spare you the details, but I was quite shaken when I woke up) on the subject for the past couple of days/nights.

I POAS a total of three times (the day of my first beta, right between beta #1 and beta #2 and right between beta #2 and beta #3) and every time I look at those different gradations in intensity of the second line it puts a smile on my face.

Some minor symptoms are appearing as well. I love taking an afternoon nap, but at night I am often full of energy, feeling really happy, and I have difficulty falling asleep. My breasts don't hurt, but they seem to have become a bit firmer (after being a bit 'sloppy' as a result of eight months of breastfeeding), which is not a bad thing. I'm becoming more moody, which isn't helped at all by my toddler's "terrible two" tantrums. And generally I prefer sweat pants and comfy shirts to anything else (but I'll wear them only around the house, this is France after all!), much to hubby's dismay.

5dp2dt - too normal

I don't really have anything to report. I'm feeling fine. No symptoms whatsoever, except for the occasional lower back pain and light abdominal cramping. I'm already starting to think about a next fresh IVF cycle...

Cramps

Ugh, been having menstrual-type cramping almost all day. No spotting or bleeding though, and I had this too the day before beta with the first pregnancy, so still hopeful. Would like to POAS, but no First Response or similar pee sticks for sale here, and if my beta tomorrow is as low as it was last time (55), I'm afraid the regular ClearBlue stick will give a negative result, even if I might be pregnant. So will not POAS until tomorrow am, before I go to the lab.

French precision

I had to go to the lab this morning to get my blood drawn for an estradiol level check. If it would be below 500 pg/ml I would have to get a HCG booster shot... With IVF#1 my level was well above that (1982), but this time I wasn't so sure, as my boobs are still not sore (which starts freaking me out - to me this is the early sign of pregnancy, I had it with #1, but so far nothing this time). I first thought that if the level would be below 500, the chance of being pregnant would be about zero, but luckily, when I went through old emails I exchanged with a friend, I found out that she did have the hcg booster shot, and she had a successful pregnancy, so that eased my mind a bit.

It was very busy at the lab and the ladies were there usual charming self... I asked them at what time I could call for the results - important as if the level would indeed be below 500, I would have to go to the pharmacy to get the meds and then try to contact a nurse to give me the shot - they told me 3 pm.

So I called around 3:10 pm. "Are you sure the results would be ready at this time?" Yes, I asked this morning and you told me to call at 3... "Well, but normally we don't have the results before 4 pm". You told me to call at 3 pm, and I need to get this stuff sorted if my level is too low... After a few rounds of stupid music she finally came back to me to say that my level was above 1000. So no booster shot needed.

When I picked up my son at the nanny's around 5:30 pm I went by the lab to get the results (on paper this time). When she told me over the phone "over 1000" I assumed they hadn't completely finished testing or something and that the final number would be on the paper. No... the paper also says "> 1000". WFT? They can't give me a freaking number? I mean, it doesn't really matter, because it's over 500, so I don't need the shot, but come on, with IVF#1 they were able to give me an exact number, why not this time? You might wonder why I didn't ask them - well, she gave me the results in an envelope and I didn't open it until I was in the elevator on my way down again. As this was a tiny elevator, my son was freaking out (is afraid in small elevators since we almost got stuck in one a few weeks ago), so I didn't feel like going up again.

I'm really getting a bit fed up with this lab. This morning they also asked me twice what the date of my last period was. I told them, but I also said that it wasn't relevant, since I had a long IVF protocol... I'd prefer to have these IVF-related tests done at the clinic's lab - at least they don't ask stupid questions (like for the vaginal exam where the lab near my house manages to ask why I need this test done - do I have a yeast infection?) and they have their results a lot quicker than this lab. But the downside is that it's 30-45 minutes away by bus and metro while this other one is a 15-minute walk...

Anyway... I guess I'm happy that I didn't need the booster shot. Things seem to go OK inside me, at least as far as the lining is concerned... Still feeling bloated, slightly crampy sometimes, but not as much as last week, having night sweats and crazy dreams (but why don't my boobs hurt? - I googled a bit, apparently some women do have sore boobs with one pregnancy and not with the next. Hmm, ok, I hope I'm one of them then!). One more week until beta.

Well...

2WW/WUB is not making me a very happy woman...

Symptoms so far:

• twinges/cramping in uterus/ovaries area
• lower back pain
• feeling bloated
• crazy dreams
• emotional / grumpy: yesterday I started crying because my 19-month old didn't want to eat his lunch (he even threw it on the floor), this morning I bitched at hubby for asking me all kinds of questions that I didn't know the answer too (they were of an organizational kind, and normally I respond that I'm going to look it up for him/take care of it, but this morning I just told him I didn't know and he had to figure it out himself - he was not happy).

Other than that, nothing, my breasts are still not hurting or anything, so I'm a bit pessimistic (even though I know it's still super early).

40w3d - due date

Yeah right... It might be my due date, but so far the baby has shown no intention of wanting to come out. No signs of impending labor at all.

So we went to the hospital today for the first 'post due date' check-up. Normally this takes place on DD+1, but since that's in the weekend, and the consults are only from Monday-Friday, we already had it today.

First 30 minutes monitoring the baby's heart rate (between 122 and 151, depending on whether he was asleep or awake) and my contractions (none to speak of). They also checked my BP: 113/67. Then cervix check: not much change from the 9-month check-up I had three weeks ago - about a finger dilated, shortened and soft. The baby's head is putting quite some pressure on it, as it's super low in my pelvis (but that was the same three weeks ago too).

After that it was on to another room for an u/s: still head down, back to the left, in perfect position to come out. Baby in fine condition. Placenta too, although a little bit calcified, but apparently that's normal at the end of a pregnancy. Still enough amniotic fluid everywhere. Baby's estimated weight: about 3 kg (6lbs 10oz).

So everything's ready for a smooth delivery. Now, where are those contractions?!?!?!

(If nothing happens this weekend, we'll have the next check-up on Monday afternoon.)

40 weeks - still waiting

Exactly 40 weeks pregnant today. If I were in the US or in Holland this would be my due date, but here in France they add three days extra, so still have until Friday before I have to start calling about past-term consults etc.

No signs at all of impending labor, but I really hope that the little man won't let us wait too much longer, because I'm more than ready and want to hold him in my arms! But there's nothing I can do about it - it's weird, an IVF pregnancy is so controlled from the beginning, with set dates etc, but at the end, it's still mother nature that you have to let take its course.

Luckily I'm feeling so much better than yesterday. Also had quite a good night of sleep (all relative of course, but good for a 9-month pregnant woman that is) so feel rather energetic today.

Little meltdown

I had a small nervous breakdown this morning around 5.30 am. I had been up for bathroom breaks at my usual hours, but then couldn't sleep anymore from 3.30 am onwards.

Due to the terrible itch (it was horrible all day yesterday too, luckily a bit better now) and too much stuff in my head - how long before the baby will come? How long can my parents wait patiently in Holland before driving south anyway, even when they said they won't come before the baby's born (but they booked a place from this Wednesday on - why didn't they just take our neighbor's apartment who offered it for a week from July 3rd on)? What if I go way past my due date? Can people please stop calling every other day to ask how it's going? Can I tell them 'don't call us, we call you' or is that rude? Do I need to call day care centers when I don't know yet if the company will offer me a new contract? But what if I wait too long and there is no more space? Will there be more high school kids jumping into our garden today to fetch balls they accidentally threw over the fence? Will our landlord repair the fence (broken by the high school kids on Friday) quickly or will it take months and months, like everything else we ask them to do? Why am I worrying about all these things? Why do I have this horrible itch? Why can't I sleep? Etc. etc.

I think it's all got to do something with the idea I had that the baby would definitely come earlier than my due date, and somehow I had set D-Day in my head for yesterday - wouldn't it be wonderful: born on a Sunday, just like his parents, on Father's Day (hubby was born on mother's day), on the first day of summer, on the 'fête de la musique', on his mommy's and grandpa's name day... Yes, I know, too good to be true. Or so tacky that the baby, like his daddy would do, would just refuse to be born on such a day, out of sheer recalcitrance.

So of course no signs at all of impending labor, and all the thoughts mentioned above going round and round in my head. So I started crying, which woke hubby up, who tried to console me, fell back asleep, while I stayed awake. As soon as the alarm went off at 7 am I stood beside the bed. After breakfast and hubby's departure I took it easy by doing some prenatal yoga and breathing exercises (which almost made me freak out instead of relax because I couldn't breathe out for more than 25 seconds, while the goal for labor contractions is 30-40 seconds - but in the end I did manage) and then took a shower. Doing a bit better now, but still very tired, so I'm in for at least one good nap today.

39 weeks - tired

Well, here I am at 39 weeks exactly. Everything's going well, but... I'm tired! Especially in the mornings. I sleep horribly at night, waking up around 1 am, 3 am, and 5 or 6 am every time for a combination of reasons (having to pee, belly cramps and ligament pain - one of my favorite positions, on right side with lower leg stretched, upper leg bent, now actually hurts! - , the baby having a party inside my belly, being too warm, being too cold). Almost every night I dread going to bed and I'm happy when it's 5 am and I hear the birds singing outside and know that daylight is not far away. I'm so ready for the baby to be born (not that that's gonna make me sleep better of course)!

Yesterday afternoon I went for my pre-birth acupuncture session. I was somehow disappointed he only stuck four needles in me (two in my left breast, and one in each shin)... We'll see if it really did anything once I'm in labor. ;-) There was a funny moment when he looked at my chart and thought that my infertility sessions that I'd had in the fall of 2006 had been in 2008 (the assistant hadn't bothered to add the year back then) so that those had really worked and immediately resulted in a pregnancy - but I helped him out of that dream pretty quickly. Other than that it was a very nice and relaxing experience.

38 weeks - in waiting mode

Exactly 38 weeks pregnant today. Not too much to tell, we're basically in waiting mode.
One very annoying thing though: the itch is back. Aarghhh! My own fault. I took a bath on Sunday night, to relieve some BH contractions - used calendula bath oil, which is supposedly for sensitive skin, but I remembered (stupidly only after taking the bath) that during the 'itchy period' it always seemed to make the itch worse, instead of better. And so yes, since Sunday night the horrible itch is back and making me miserable. I hope it won't last too long.

The OB called me yesterday to say that she had good news for me regarding the 'pôle physiologique': she had discussed it with the hospital team (so apparently my comments made her rethink what she had told me during Friday's check-up) and now a midwife will call me on Thursday to discuss things further. So I'm really happy about that, and I can then also already tell her I'd like to deliver the baby on my side (hubby told me I should have mentioned that to my OB today too, and of course he's right, but I somehow forgot...).

So this weekend I was like 'let the baby come', now I'm telling it to stick around for at least another week, so I can get this organized with the hospital before we come in for the delivery.

I'm also contemplating whether or not to go for a pre-birth acupuncture session. A few women talked about it at last week's prenatal yoga class and were very enthusiastic about it. I did have some acupucture sessions three years ago, regarding our infertility. Although the acupuncture itself was OK, I had a weird experience where one time he told me, after the acupuncture itself, to go into his office for a small consult and to wait behind the screen, on the exam table, until he returned from giving something to his assistant. So I did, but when he returned, he had forgotten about me and had brought another patient in, whom he then also directed behind the screen, where we said an awkward hello and the OB/acupuncturist quickly took the other patient away. He otherwise has a great reputation for acupuncture with pregnant women and everyone else whom I talk to is super enthusiastic about it. So...what to do?