OMG!

I had to pee after having my blood drawn, there was a HPT in my bag, so I thought "what the heck", and used it. And OMG, a second line appeared!

I sat on the metro with a stupid grin on my face.

Now just, please, don't let this be a residue from the booster shot I had last week... I googled it and apparently it takes 24 hours to get 1000 IU of a HCG booster shot out of your system. I had a 1500 IU shot last Tuesday, so that should be gone by now, right..?!?!

Lab results will be in at 2 pm.

At the lab

Should have gone in earlier. Waiting room is packed...

I kept to my own promise not to POAS. Maybe I'll do it just after I get my blood drawn, but HPTs have pretty much always meant disaster for me, so I'm not sure... too afraid to see only one line. No AF yet, but usually that would be 15dpo, so not until tomorrow.

HCG booster shot

First of all, thank you for all your words of encouragement on my previous post, it means a lot to me!

Yesterday morning I had to get my blood drawn for an estradiol level check. This time I went to the clinic's lab and I was so glad I did - blood drawn around 7:30 am, results in by noon, much better turnaround time than the lab around the corner from where I live.

The deal with the estradiol level check is that if it's under 500 pg/ml, you have to get a 1500 IU HCG boosters shot. With IVF#1 it was 1980, with IVF#2 it was >1000, but this time the level was 324 pg/ml. Of course this first freaked me out completely, but then I realized that with the two fresh cycles, my estradiol level at trigger time was near 3000 because of all the stimming. This time there had been a little stimming, but not nearly as much as with a fresh cycle, and my estradiol level the day before triggering was at 304 pg/ml, so I guess it would only be logical that my current level wouldn't be so high either.

So I called a nurse to make an appointment for the shot - she would come by around 6 pm, enough time for me to let my son have his afternoon nap and get the meds at the pharmacy afterward. We came home from our little walk to the pharmacy (with tricycle, uphill, so a normal 10 minute walk now took us almost an hour - the way back went a lot faster, although there were the usual distractions of phone booths, parking meters, garage doors that would or wouldn't open, etc.) just before the nurse arrived about 20 minutes before schedule.

She gave me the shot, but when I looked at the box I was confused - she had used two ampules, but there were still 10 left in the box. Why? In case you screw up? There was only one syringe provided and the two ampules she used (powder and solvent) were sufficient for the 1500 IU, but still, those things make me nervous. I just don't get pharmaceutical companies.

Other than that I have nothing to report, no new symptoms, nothing.

5dp2dt - too normal

I don't really have anything to report. I'm feeling fine. No symptoms whatsoever, except for the occasional lower back pain and light abdominal cramping. I'm already starting to think about a next fresh IVF cycle...

Relaxing

My RE doesn't believe in (bed)rest after transfer, and I don't really think it makes a difference either, but after bringing my son to the sitter, buying groceries and getting my post-transfer prescriptions filled, I got home, and I didn't really feel like doing anything (besides reading blogs). So I did this:

Btw, the book is totally awesome (but in Dutch, and I don't think it was translated into English). It's called "Letters to Sleeping Beauty" - every day of the year, for an entire year, the prince, who's on his way to kiss Sleeping Beauty, writes her a letter. One day optimistic, the next desperate, etc. - very humorous and philosophical.

PUPO

Today was transfer day of our lone frozen embryo. I put on a necklace and earrings that belonged to my mother - somehow I needed her to be there with me today, especially since hubby couldn't accompany me either because he's in China for work.

Before I headed off to the clinic I had to call the embryologist to hear if it survived the thaw. Yes it did! Pfew, first hurdle taken.

I had to be at the clinic at 11:30 am. Was well on time, but unfortunately everyone else seemed to be running late. A little after noon the embryologist finally called me in, went through the paperwork, gave me a report of today's transfer to put in my file, and sent me on to the next waiting room, where I had to wait for the RE. Apparently I was the only one having a transfer today as the waiting room was completely empty and had to wait another 40 minutes before the RE finally arrived.

This time no u/s guided transfer, like with IVF#2, but a 'simple' transfer (that's how it's described on the report the embryologist gave me), done by my own RE. In a way I'm glad, because this is how it went with IVF#1 and that one worked (no, I'm not superstitious...).

The RE told me I could get up and dressed whenever I wanted. I stayed down for about five minutes, talking to my little embryo and tearing up when I told it he/she had an amazing bigger brother. Got dressed, went to the secretary to pay for Friday's u/s, Saturday's trigger and today's transfer and got my post-FET prescription. Had planned to have lunch with a friend who works close to the clinic, but since everything happened so much later than scheduled, she didn't have time anymore, so I went home.

Took my first baby aspirin this afternoon and will continue the progesterone suppositories that I started two days ago. First beta is in 12 days. I've promised myself that I will not POAS if my breast won't get sore, because that's the early sign my body gives me when I'm pregnant (said she who's only been pregnant once).

Limerick challenge

I just found out through Baby Smiling in Back Seat that there's a limerick contest going on at Write Mind Open Heart (deadline today, so if you want to enter, hurry up). So of course I had to come up with something. It was a good distraction from the 2WW/WUB anxiety, but as you can see, it's still about the only thing on my mind right now...

The wait until beta is trying

Are my embryos sticking or dying?

But c'mon girl, you're strong

Just keep calm and carry on

One or two lines - I'm sure I'll be crying

Please vote for me! (voting opens March 4)!

Well...

2WW/WUB is not making me a very happy woman...

Symptoms so far:

• twinges/cramping in uterus/ovaries area
• lower back pain
• feeling bloated
• crazy dreams
• emotional / grumpy: yesterday I started crying because my 19-month old didn't want to eat his lunch (he even threw it on the floor), this morning I bitched at hubby for asking me all kinds of questions that I didn't know the answer too (they were of an organizational kind, and normally I respond that I'm going to look it up for him/take care of it, but this morning I just told him I didn't know and he had to figure it out himself - he was not happy).

Other than that, nothing, my breasts are still not hurting or anything, so I'm a bit pessimistic (even though I know it's still super early).

Images

Two images keep floating into my head: the first is of the two embryos being brought into my uterus, the second one the photos of the three perfect 4-cell embryos the embryologist showed us before the transfer (no, we didn't get a copy).

These images make me happy. They also fill me with anxiety. I've followed enough blogs where I've seen photos of perfect looking embies, only to read a BFN report a few weeks later.

The anxiety is different than with IVF#1 - then, I was almost sure it would fail (but of course I hoped it wouldn't). Now, I sometimes wonder I'm too sure of it working, because the first one did.

I can hardly concentrate on anything besides reading IF blogs. I'm going back into my own blog archives to see what I wrote during the 2WW/WUB with IVF#1. Scold myself for not being more detailed (when did my breast get sore...?). Today I was sooo tired, but not being tired is more an exception than the rule since my baby was born, so it doesn't mean anything (although I do think I'm extra tired from all the emotions coming with ER and ET etc).

So yes, welcome back 2WW/WUB! Please don't drive me insane...