Time

Sorry for being MIA for a while - I've been a bit too busy and with two long public holiday weekends my 'me-time' was limited.

Other than that I'm fine. I think I'm starting to get a little belly (hubby says it's because I eat too many cookies - he's crazy). My regular size pants don't fit anymore in the evenings. Until my first pregnancy I wore a size larger and I kept those clothes - they now come in very handy (I also unpacked some of my maternity clothes, but those are still way too big - also partly due to the fact that these are in my previous size). Worst part of the day for me is somewhere between lunch and dinner - my belly then feels slightly crampy, I have lower back pain and am tired. Sometimes the crampy belly prevents me from taking a good nap. I'm hungry most of the time. Yesterday I was watching a cooking program on TV after dinner and I swear, I could have eaten everything that I saw.

I got my registration for the hospital's l&d and maternity ward sorted - am #7 for the registrations that started this week for due dates end of January/early February (as I live in an area with many fertile myrtles and a popular hospital, you have to register pretty early on in your pregnancy to be sure there is a bed available for you).

Time is playing strange tricks on me - when I think about my due date (end of January), I picture it as being only about five months away, upcoming OB appointments or ultrasounds are in my idea somehow scheduled in November/December instead of June/July. It seems that I relate everything back to my first pregnancy (which debuted early October '08), but I wonder if it also is somehow linked to my mom's illness and passing (she received her 'death sentence' in last September and passed away in November), because when I read about friends' babies that were born in January/February I think they're only three months old instead of five - somehow I'm still stuck in November.

I'm feeling my mom's absence more and more now - my dad inquires about my health and feelings, but when I then tell him about my symptoms he will ask "is that all normal in this stage of pregnancy?" - so far away from what my mom's reaction would be - relating to her own pregnancies, or maybe my own first - I cannot call her anymore to tell her about new appointments or funny symptoms. I also missed her a lot when we were in the south of France two weeks ago, my dad (and his new girlfriend, but that's a whole other story) were with us - we were housesitting a friends' of my parents house. Our toddler just got over a stomach flu and was still waking up every morning at six (luckily he's now back to his usual routine of 7:30 am). Taking him to our bed for some extra snooze time was no option - he wanted to get up and mommy had to come with him. So I watched Sesame Street with my son while the rest of the house was still asleep, I made him a bottle and myself a cup of tea, and I longed for my mom, who was always an early riser, and who would have gotten up if she had heard us and made us some breakfast. Now the other adults didn't show their faces until two or three hours later (when my son and I felt ready to take a nap!).

37 weeks

Made it to 37 weeks, so far so good! I keep thinking my OB just scared me more than was necessary with her comments at my last checkup - I really thought I would go into labor immediately after, but here I am, almost three weeks later. Of course I have been taking it easier, so we never know what would have happened if I had continued working... Oh, well, it doesn't matter.

What does matter though is that I received a letter this morning from the state health insurance that they're not going to pay me during my maternity leave. The company and I were under the impression that the only requirement I needed to fulfill was to have worked at least 200 hours in the last three months before the start of my maternity leave, but in the letter I got they also say I should have been registered for at least ten months before the birth of the baby. Since I've got my insurance card only since February (before that I fell under my hubby's insurance), I don't qualify.

But... good news! Our accountant just called. She talked to the insurance and I indeed don't qualify under my own number, but I do under hubby's number! So we have to send a letter with a copy of his insurance registration and they're gonna pay me after all (of course with some delay, but that's OK)!

Did go to the mall this morning. I'm sure hubby would have objected, but he's away for business today, so he wasn't there to stop me. First stop was of course the rest room, where the cleaning lady told me (after I put the 40 cts in the turnstile) that pregnant women don't have to pay, but she didn't give me back my money either... Then on to the Gap, where I bought three T-shirts (not from its maternity line, but thee rather long Ts from its regular collection in a buy 3, get one free action) and finished at H&M, where I bought two nursing tops. Must say that even though I only was there for 45 minutes, it was quite exhausting, so I was glad to be home again.

Before going to the mall I had my last test (blood: toxoplasmosis, urine: glucose and protein) at the lab, and went to the post office to buy stamps for the mailing of the birth announcements. Also made an appointment for tomorrow at the hair salon.

Some emails and phone calls awaited me when I got home. Did those, had lunch and now I'm really tired. Think I will get into the hammock again, even though it's probably a bit too windy to put up the parasol and without it it'll be too hot, but I don't want to stay indoors either with this beautiful weather.

Priority for a big belly?

So, what does the sight of my pregnant belly do on the bus, while waiting in line, etc? Here are ust some observations of the last few weeks:

First of all, if I want to be treated differently, I really need to make sure my belly gets noticed. A few weeks ago I was taking the bus to work and it was overly full. I was wearing my winter coat and had a big bag over my shoulder, so if you didn't know, you couldn't really see I was pregnant. I had to stand, no-one offered me a seat, I thought I was fine, until I almost fainted just before I reached my stop (would have for real if the stop was 1 minute further away).

So after that I made sure that I had my coat open when boarding the bus. Not that it helps much though, most people are too preoccupied with themselves to (want to) notice that a pregnant women is standing next to them and they maybe could offer me their seat (and some antisocial adolescents also board the bus in front of me, even though the door opened just before my nose). I don't know if this is the case everywhere, or that French people are just especially rude in this regard. But from now on I avoid overly crowded buses or subways. I just wait for the next one.

Last week I had to go to the social security office that deals with child support (everyone in France has a right to it) because I know finally have my own social security number since I've been working and needed to make sure that they would get all the necessary corrections into my file. I had heard horrible stories about 2-3 hour waits, so I checked with a colleague what would be the best time to go there. She advised me to go around 11 am, as that is the time most women have to leave to pick up their children from school. So I did. And when I entered the building, my heart almost stopped. I think there were at least 80 people in line. I was warm. I saw myself fainting already, so took off my coat and tried to stay very zen. Then a security guard noticed me, summoned me over, asked if I was pregnant (duh!) and told me to wait at the front of the line! Hurray!! Couldn't believe it (and felt slightly guilty)!

So it was immediately my turn... to get a ticket and move on to the next waiting area and wait for my number to be called. But at least there were chairs there, and only 20 people in front of me. In the end, I'd been there for only 40 minutes, which is great, but I still hope that from now on I can deal with this agency by mail, internet or phone, and I do not have to go there again (especially not when I'm no longer pregnant).

Hospital labels and a possible infection

Well, this morning was the early pregnancy information session at the hospital. But first I had to get my labels printed. They had told me to come about 15 minutes before the session would start, but as I'm always (way too) early, I was there 30 minutes before. No line, so that was good. Before they could make the labels, they had to start a file in my name (so they apparently didn't do anything with the info I gave them the day I registered...?!) and then I got a nice sheet with 30 tiny labels which include a bar code, my name, my DOB and file number.

Apparently these labels are the entry ticket to anything that has to do with checkups, prenatal preparatory sessions, etc. within the OB department. At each appointment you have to give a label and then they charge it to the state-run insurance. So my first label was for the midwife who held the presentation... I must admit that the French health care system doesn't stop to amaze me and it's quite unbelievable sometimes that it in fact runs pretty smoothly.

On to the meeting room. At 9:45am about half the room was full. Then more people came in, some with, some without labels - apparently the line downstairs for printing the labels had become rather long. The midwife tried to start around 9:55am - even more people came in - there were not enough chairs. Attending husbands were asked to bring in more chairs. People kept coming in (you did not need to register for the session). At 10:15am a woman came in telling that there was still a whole group downstairs waiting for their labels. The midwife told her to go and get them so she could finally really start. Still, even after that people kept coming in (I think the last ones arrived around 11am). The room was way too full.

Apart from this, the session was quite informative, but I did wonder if I could not have gotten the same information in 10 minutes from a doctor, nurse or midwife affiliated with the hospital, instead of spending more than two hours in an overcrowded room...

I initially thought that after this session I would have the afternoon off so I could finally get some administrative and household stuff done. But this was not the case. As the burning sensation around my girlie parts (see two posts back) had not gone away yet, I decided I should call my OB, because just reading books and the internet only made me worry too much. Had to wait until after 2pm, because of course no-one here in France is reachable between 12 and 2, not to be disturbed while having their nice and lengthy lunches. Got hold of the secretary at 2.20pm, she put me through to the OB (replacement) who said she would need to see me and might have an opening today, so she transferred me back to the secretary: the 2.45pm appointment had just canceled, so, did I live far from their office...?

I took the appointment, found a city bike (free bike system), flew downhill, and was at the office at 2.42pm. Didn't have to wait more than two minutes. OB asked me what exactly my symptoms were, which is always a nice challenge to try to explain in French - I did look up some words in the dictionary before I called, but forgot the word for itch again, as it is so weird (demangeaison), but luckily she understood what I wanted to say.

So after the little chat, on to the stirrups. She couldn't detect any cut like my OB had seen last week, but said that she saw a lot of white thick discharge, so it must be a yeast infection. But to me that discharge looked just like the remains of the progesterone suppositories, which I told her, so now she wasn't sure anymore. But she said it looked a little reddish too and the itching was pretty bad after she removed the speculum, so she did give me a prescription for something against a yeast infection (a vaginal capsule I have to take tonight). Maybe it is actually caused by the fact that I've been putting in progesterone suppositories for 11 weeks now...? Luckily only five more days of that left.

She also ordered me to go to a lab to have my urine tested for infection, preferably today, so we would have the results before I leave for Holland this weekend. So once I was out the door, I called the lab to see if I could come still come by. Yes, but for I would need to wait 2 hours since last bathroom visit, so had to go there around 5pm.

So I went to the pharmacy first to get the prescription (including a cream to sooth the itching) and then went back home. Took a nap for about 40 minutes. Got up, got another city bike and rode to the lab (slightly uphill this time). Results will be back tomorrow afternoon. Pfff...

12w u/s and checkup

Damn, I've been wanting to blog since Tuesday, but just haven't had the time (amazing how busy you can be even when you're not working...). Bad news first: I'm getting another cold. I'm sneezing and the sinuses on my right side hurt. Hope it doesn't turn into an ear infection. I guess my resistance is really crappy now that I'm pregnant, but I hope my mom's remark that 'some women will have a cold during their entire pregnancy', will not come true for me!

Now the good news: we had our 12 week u/s and checkup on Tuesday and everything is looking great! Our little miracle (I have to come up with some name, but can't think of anything yet. Any suggestions?) was moving around and we could already count fingers and toes! The measurement showed it being 12w3d instead of 12w0d, so it's ahead of the French curve, but my sister later told me that it's actually a bit below the Dutch curve. But who really cares about a few millimeters...?

At the checkup the OB told me to continue with the Utrogestan (progesterone suppositories) for another two weeks, so until the end of the first trimester. However I need to continue taking the Aspegic100 (baby aspirin) for the remainder of the pregnancy. Hmm, didn't really like that, but she told me that because it was started from the beginning, as part of the IVF protocol, we should not change it now, since I'm reacting OK to it and stopping it will probably do more harm than good. I gained 2 kg since the last checkup (6 weeks ago) according to their scale (which I guess I should assume is more accurate than mine, which hasn't shown any weight increase at all).

I told her that I was experiencing some cramps now and then. She first thought I meant in my legs, but I meant in my belly. She checked my uterus and said that it was indeed feeling a little tense/hard, so I was right but should not worry too much about it, and she prescribed a magnesium B6 supplement, which I now take twice a day. It's funny because it wasn't until I had left the OB's office that I realized that I've indeed also been experiencing leg cramps (especially when doing yoga). I've only been taking it for two days now, but already feel that it's working (will now better at yoga practice tonight).

Made appointments for the next three months, u/s appointment for week 22, and lab test for next week. T21 blood test will be in week 16.

I also got some forms to fill out to register the pregnancy with the state-run health and family insurances (which we filled out and mailed right away, because they need to have those before the end of week 14), so they will cover the necessary prenatal visits, allot the paid maternity and paternity leave, monitor that we'll do all the mandatory tests and vaccinations, and pay child/family allowance once the baby is born.

How normal is my IVF pregnancy?

So, how 'normal' is my IVF pregnancy? Or how normal do I want it to be? On one hand, I want it to be as normal as possible, not different from any other, naturally conceived, pregnancy. But, on the other hand, I want it to be different... this might be difficult to explain, and I don't mean that I want complications or anything like that. But the other day, when I thought about the upcoming pregnancy & birth preparation sessions that the hospital is organizing for expectant couples, I suddenly had the feeling that I didn't want to be there surrounded by couples who got pregnant 'the easy way', I'd prefer to be in a group with people who'd had infertility treatments before being able to get pregnant. Because those people have been there themselves... and you don't have to be afraid of someone blurting out a remark on how she got pregnant unexpectantly because she forgot to take the pill, or something like that.

Last week I received a letter from the RE lab, asking to let them know the name of my OB and the results of the first u/s (which, btw, I had informed the RE's office about, but apparently the office and the lab don't communicate very well with each other...) and also informing me that they would send me a form, to be filled out by my OB after the delivery, about my pregnancy, so they would have that info for their statistics. A normal procedure and a sign that my IVF pregnancy will never be completely 'normal' - which is fine by me, because that's how I experience it anyway.

But... they also mentioned I would be contacted by an organization they work with, "which will propose to monitor your child for a longer period of time". WTF? When I read that, a sudden vision came to me of my child wearing a t-shirt saying "I'm an IVF baby". Everywhere you read that 'children born as a result of IVF are no different that other children', so why this follow-up and how long is a 'longer period of time'? A few months, a few years? I tried to find some information about this organization online, but of course there's nothing - welcome to France, this country is so offline, it's unbelievable (more on that in a future post). So I'll have to wait until I get the call/letter to find out what it is all about...

Registry date at the hospital

I had to go to the hospital this morning to register for the delivery date. Today was the first possible date to do this for due dates scheduled for the last two weeks of June. Both my OB and my neighbor had told me to go there as early as possible, because apparently all women want to deliver at this specific hospital (+ the birth rate in France is the highest in Europe), so it fills up pretty fast.

I arrived at the hospital around 9.15 am, already quite busy in the waiting room and it was too warm, so I got a nice coughing attack (and of course I had forgotten to bring water). After about 15 minutes it was my turn - as my OB is linked to the hospital, it was a pretty easy registration (but you wonder how they do it - because they first write down the info on some scrap piece of paper and then when you're gone they're going to enter it - you hope - into the computer system. Ah, the French...). I had registration number 4, so obviously I was well on-time. I had brought all kinds of paperwork (because my neighbor had told me I needed that), but didn't need any of it.

Next appointment is on December 17 - information session about pregnancy and delivery. Will have to get my 'labels' printed then as well, whatever that means...