Thursday, June 16, 2011

Time

Sorry for being MIA for a while - I've been a bit too busy and with two long public holiday weekends my 'me-time' was limited.

Other than that I'm fine. I think I'm starting to get a little belly (hubby says it's because I eat too many cookies - he's crazy). My regular size pants don't fit anymore in the evenings. Until my first pregnancy I wore a size larger and I kept those clothes - they now come in very handy (I also unpacked some of my maternity clothes, but those are still way too big - also partly due to the fact that these are in my previous size). Worst part of the day for me is somewhere between lunch and dinner - my belly then feels slightly crampy, I have lower back pain and am tired. Sometimes the crampy belly prevents me from taking a good nap. I'm hungry most of the time. Yesterday I was watching a cooking program on TV after dinner and I swear, I could have eaten everything that I saw.

I got my registration for the hospital's l&d and maternity ward sorted - am #7 for the registrations that started this week for due dates end of January/early February (as I live in an area with many fertile myrtles and a popular hospital, you have to register pretty early on in your pregnancy to be sure there is a bed available for you).

Time is playing strange tricks on me - when I think about my due date (end of January), I picture it as being only about five months away, upcoming OB appointments or ultrasounds are in my idea somehow scheduled in November/December instead of June/July. It seems that I relate everything back to my first pregnancy (which debuted early October '08), but I wonder if it also is somehow linked to my mom's illness and passing (she received her 'death sentence' in last September and passed away in November), because when I read about friends' babies that were born in January/February I think they're only three months old instead of five - somehow I'm still stuck in November.

I'm feeling my mom's absence more and more now - my dad inquires about my health and feelings, but when I then tell him about my symptoms he will ask "is that all normal in this stage of pregnancy?" - so far away from what my mom's reaction would be - relating to her own pregnancies, or maybe my own first - I cannot call her anymore to tell her about new appointments or funny symptoms. I also missed her a lot when we were in the south of France two weeks ago, my dad (and his new girlfriend, but that's a whole other story) were with us - we were housesitting a friends' of my parents house. Our toddler just got over a stomach flu and was still waking up every morning at six (luckily he's now back to his usual routine of 7:30 am). Taking him to our bed for some extra snooze time was no option - he wanted to get up and mommy had to come with him. So I watched Sesame Street with my son while the rest of the house was still asleep, I made him a bottle and myself a cup of tea, and I longed for my mom, who was always an early riser, and who would have gotten up if she had heard us and made us some breakfast. Now the other adults didn't show their faces until two or three hours later (when my son and I felt ready to take a nap!).

7 comments:

Tami said...

So happy the pregnancy is going well. It is a natural time to miss your mom. I'm sorry that you have to deal with that at a time that should be all about joy and miracles. Take care of yourself and enjoy every step of the pregnancy.

Sarah said...

So happy to hear the pregnancy is going well. And sorry for the pain that comes with the loss of your mom during this exciting time.

xo

New Year Mum said...

Great to hear that your pregnancy is coming along well... so exciting :)) Sorry that you're mum isn't here to share it with you... Love to you always xoxo
{newyearmum2.blogspot.com}

China Doll said...

Really good to hear that all is going smoothly - impressed that you can fit into your regular pants at all! (Mine still don't fit post-IVF bloating!)

So sorry that you don't have your Mum here to share this amazing time - there is no real replacement, is there? xx

St Elsewhere said...

Glad you stored up on the old clothes. That was a good decision.

You must make sure you are eating something at regular intervals. Also, even if you can't lie down, do try and keep your feet up...that will bring you some rest too.

Erm...you and I seem to be due around the same time.

Lavender Luz said...

Smiling, LiT. So happy about your pregnancy.

I can understand really missing your mom right now.

Hugs.

Valery said...

So sorry you miss your mam so much. I know that with all the normal mile stones (birthdays and christmas etc) the first without the one you miss is more difficult.. I can't begin to imagine what a pregnancy must be like.
Do you still have some messages from her from your first pregnancy maybe?
hugs.