Birth story

Sorry for the delay, but I finally have some quiet time to sit down and write this story while I’m vacationing at my SIL’s with the kids (while hubby is away for business) and their teenage daughters are entertaining our toddler while the baby is asleep. (I hope it's coherent, I haven't reread it yet...)

After about three days of lots and lots of (sometimes painful) BH contractions and losing my mucous plug, things seemed to getting serious in the early morning of Monday, January 23rd. I first thought they were still BH contractions, as I mainly felt them in my lower abdomen, but they did come in more regular intervals and seemed to be getting stronger too. The previous days the contractions were mainly there when I was lying in bed and would subside when I would get up and/or take two Spasfon tablets. This time however they remained strong, even after changing position, taking Spasfon, and taking a warm bath. I had been up since 4 am and around 5:30 am we decided that this was the real thing, and moved into gear to get the toddler off to the neighbors and ourselves to the hospital about an hour later. We arrived at the hospital just before 7:30 am, just in time for a shift change. We were greeted by a midwife and student midwife who checked how far along I was: 3 cm dilated. Not that far, but we were allowed to stay and brought into a pre-L&D room, where I was put on monitoring for the first hour and then left to ourselves. After a total of two hours they did another cervical check: 5 cm dilated – off to the L&D room.

I had told the midwife that I wanted to see how things were progressing whether or not to ask for an epidural. With the birth of our first son I had taken an epidural after about 20 hrs of labor, when things were not progressing as they should and I was completely exhausted. The first dose had worn almost off by the time I was fully dilated, so I was able to feel everything (or so I thought, but more on that later…) when it was time to push, and I’d like to have that same experience this time.

I was very lucky that it wasn’t a busy day at all and the midwife came to check on me very regularly. The first part of labor I’d been sitting on a big exercise ball, with my hands on the bed and was handling the contractions pretty well up until about 6 cm when they changed in intensity. Just when I was thinking ‘next time the midwife comes in, I will probably ask for the epidural’, she came in, proposed a different position (on all fours on the bed, with a smaller exercise ball to lean on), which was wonderful, so we continued the natural way. I was still laboring at a pace of about 1 cm per hour, not very fast (and I was certainly not getting the 5-6 hr labor as everyone was saying is pretty common for a second baby), but steady. Every time things were getting tough the midwife proposed something else and helped me through it. As I was having quite some back contractions she had also put some acupuncture needles in my back (I’m not really sure if they did anything, and in the end she took them out because I was lying on my back and they were bothering me) and showed my husband the pressure points on my lower back, so he was helping a lot too.

When I was about 8-9 cm dilated the contractions became quite unbearable, but I was not going for the epidural anymore, I had such a good team around me, and was still feeling in pretty good shape, so we were set for an all-natural birth! However the end was really, really tough, I won’t lie. I felt a slight urge to push and told the midwife so. She told me I could push, but somehow I didn’t really dare to, so she wondered if I really felt the urge, that we could also wait a little, but I just couldn’t bear breathing the contractions away anymore, I just wanted this baby to come out! They told me to pull my legs towards me, but at that point I didn’t have much strength left and would have preferred if I could have put my feet up against something/someone. It took quite a few pushes before the head came out – the first few I didn’t have enough strength to make them last long enough. The midwife made me feel the top of the baby’s head as encouragement, but I was just one ball of pain. At one point (when the head was crowning) it hurt so much I was screaming like in the movies and asking the midwife what the hell she was doing when she replied: “I’m not doing anything, it’s the head that’s coming out”. They urged me to keep pushing to get the shoulders out as well, but I just needed to take a break and gather my strength to push again. Apparently the cord was around the baby’s neck – hubby told me later the midwife removed it in one swift motion. Encouraged by hubby and the two midwives I did manage that final push that got the shoulders and then the rest of the body out. The midwife handed me a bit of a limp and bluish baby that didn’t cry much, but once on my chest everything was perfect. It was Monday, January 23rd, 2:54 pm, our second son (3640 g and 53 cm) was safely in my arms after 11 hours of labor.

Despite the feeling that I didn't push as well as I could have, the midwife was very impressed with the way I did it and wanted to know where I'd taken my birthing preparation classes, because she said it didn't happen very often that a woman was able to push while breathing out (and not blocking my breath, like I'd done with baby #1, which was very effective, but as the preparation midwife had told me, especially for a second baby, not so good for your body - with a chance of pushing other organs too much down).

The placenta and membranes came out OK as well and after that they had to stitch two minor tears, which was a bit uncomfortable as I think she didn’t wait quite long enough for the local anesthetic to take effect.

After about two hours we were wheeled to our room in the maternity ward, where we stayed until Thursday morning (standard procedure in France). The first few nights were a bit rough, since he was constantly demanding to be fed and the colostrum didn’t seem to satisfy him, so we complemented two or three times with a little bit of formula. Once my milk came in this problem was over (not that he didn’t demand to be fed anymore) and in the first week he gained about 600 g and the second week another 500 g.

In the hospital

We’re adjusting pretty well to a life as a family of four. Our toddler is very sweet with the baby but also needs his fair share of attention, which he sometimes demands by throwing tantrums or being otherwise disobedient, which is all pretty normal I guess.

Brothers

Birth story

Warning: This has turned out to be an extremely long, detailed, and maybe tedious post. Consider it to be more for my personal reference and skip it if you think it's TMI...

I kept telling the baby every day that time was running out if he wanted to be born without induction - he didn't seem to listen. We went to the DD+7 consult and an appointment was set for the DD+9 consult for Sunday late afternoon - after which they might already admit me for early induction on Monday morning. The thought of spending Sunday night in the hospital alone made me cry...

Saturday nothing happened... until we went to bed around 10:15 pm. Contractions. More painful than the ones I'd had before. More regular too - about every 10 minutes. If this continued, than maybe...? It made us both giddy. I tried to sleep a bit, but after a while the contractions came more often, and I started using the big exercise ball and some other techniques I learned at the birth preparation classes. It was still all very managable. The intervals became shorter - 8 minutes - 5 minutes, sometimes even 3-4. At 1:30 am, after they'd been 5 minutes apart for a bit over two hours, we decided it was time to head to the hospital.

We were both very excited and nervous at the same time. At the hospital we were greeted by a student-midwife, who brought us into an exam room. A few minutes later the midwife came in. She did a cervical check: 2 fingers dialated... I was a bit disappointed. The contractions had slowed down too. So they put me on a fetal HR and contractions monitor to see if things would progress or not. After about 45 minutes the verdict was: go back home and just come back at 5 pm for your DD+9 consult and the induction on Monday.

So off we went again. We were both a bit pissed of about the comment that we just had to come back for the induction. WTF? OK, it had all slowed down again, but these were not just BH contractions, this was the real deal, we were sure!

Back home we tried to get some sleep, which was more or less impossible for me, because the contractions were still coming every ten minutes, and were too strong to sleep through. At around 7 am the frequency increased again, and so did the intensity. As the hours passed, it became more and more difficult to deal with them. Hubby helped me a lot, especially with providing some pressure and warmth to my lower back, as the contractions were strongest there.

Around noon I decided to lie/sit on the bed, to see what effect that would have on the contractions - if they would slow down again, then they would certainly do so when they would put me on the exam table at the hospital, so it would mean we had to stay home a little longer. And yes, as soon as I did so, the frequency (but not the intensity) decreased from every 3-5 to every 8-12 minutes.

Three hours later we decided to call the hospital. The frequency had stayed about the same, but would increase if I moved around, and all in all the contractions had become really painful. I didn't really want to wait until the 5 pm consult... Got a really nice midwife on the phone, who told us just to come in so they could check the situation.

So off we went again. Were at labor & delivery around 4 pm and met by the friendly midwife. Cervical check: 4 cm. We were transferred to a L&D room, I was put on monitoring, but the cables were long enough to still be able to use an exercise ball too - with which it was much easier for me to deal with the contractions.

I'd told the midwife about my desire to try to do without an epidural and also that I'd prefer to deliver (push) on my side and not on my back. She was very open to it and told me she would do everything to help me, but that if ever I changed my mind, other options were open too.

At 5.30 pm we were at 6 cm, which was good progress according to the midwife. But after that things didn't progress so well - normally the last part should be quicker than the first, but in my case it just all progressed slowly. She put me on a magnesium + spasfon drip to help soften the cervix. It helped a bit, but not enough. Also, the baby had moved a bit and his head was now tilted backwards. In order to try to change this, the midwife put me on my side with one leg more or less in the air. It was excruciating, there was no way I could handle the contractions in this position. So I asked to bring in the (laughing?) gas to take the edge off. She brought the thing and the first try worked, I felt nice and high, but after that I was just screaming in the bloody inhaler during contractions - it was useless. So after a while she told me to try sitting on hands and knees on the bed. This was indeed better, but wow, things were getting really tough. In the meantime the midwife had also broken my water, as it hadn't done so by itself. The last cervical check she did before her shift was over around 7 pm, I was about 7-8 cm dilated. I also felt some slight desire to push, which the midwife said was a good thing, as it meant the baby was descending. She said I was very brave, wished us luck and told me the new midwife would come check on me soon.

But she didn't... or at least it seemed to take forever. I finally pressed the call button, because the feeling that I wanted to push was getting a bit stronger, and I wanted to know where we were. A student midwife came in, who I think was not prepared to deal with a screaming and moaning woman in labor without epidural, because she reacted very strangely and told me the midwife would be there soon. And indeed, she was (by then it was 8:30 pm). Another cervical check still showed only 7-8 cm. She told me I could use the ball again, which was great, because the hands/knees position was not doing it for me anymore. I was able to breathe through contractions as long as I felt them coming, but some of them just hit me out of the blue (or came immediately after I'd already dealt with two heavy ones), which was very difficult to deal with. Hubby tried to do the best he could by providing back pressure, and without him it would have really been impossible.

I was put on another magnesium/spasfon drip, but it did not have the desired effect. Contractions were also becoming irregular, so the midwife told me she wanted to put me on oxytocin to stabilize/increase them which would then also hopefully soften the cervix more. The side effect would of course be that they might be even more difficult to manage for me, and if it wouldn't soften the cervix, the only option left after that would be a c-section. So, I could go with that risk, or, as she proposed, take an epidural after all. It would give me some time to recuperate (by that time we were around the 24-hour mark), let the oxytocin to its job, and hopefully be fully dialated soon. If I wanted, I could then always choose to let the epidural wear off and not use it for the last stretch.

I was exhausted and also wanted to avoid any chance of a c-section, so I chose the epidural. A few minutes later two anesthesiologists came in. They were good, they were nice, nothing like the arrogant people I'd met during the info session and the consult (which became one of the reasons I wanted to try without epidural, just to teach them). They told me they would give me a very light dose, the first one would work for about an hour, and after that I could press a button to administer another dose myself. It was hard to deal with the contractions while they were putting the epidural in, but somehow I did manage, as during the 15-minute wait (being obliged to lie on my side) for it to start working... It was so good when it finally did. It took a bit longer on the upper right side (actually never really went away) but was very managable and I had a chance to recuperate a bit. The midwife came in to check and told me to try to push - we tried four different versions: on my side while slowly breathing out and while blocking my breath and then the same but on my back. She asked me which version I preferred and to my own surprise, I chose on my back, blocking, the version I liked the least beforehand (so you see, you can do 'dry runs' but when it comes to the real deal, it's a whole different story).

When after about an hour the first dose of the epidural was wearing off, I called the midwife again before pushing the button for another dose. Fully dilated - ready to push! The pain was back in full force, but I didn't feel it when pushing - but could feel everything else that was going on, so that was great, just what I wanted. The top of his head came out and a few pushes later it was there completely. The midwife pulled the rest of the body out to avoid having to give me an episiotomy (I had only three minor tears, which were stitched up later). And there he was, our son! So unbelievably amazing! I will never forget that moment that I saw that tiny body coming out of me and a moment later being put on my belly. It was so beautiful. - it was 0h47 on Monday, July 6 -

After delivering the placenta, they told me they had to give me another dose of the epidural, because there was some membrane tissue still in my uterus, and they had to get it out otherwise my uterus would keep bleeding and might infect. So it was a good thing the epidural was already in place and they could do this rather easily. It was a weird feeling though and the student midwife told me I could hold her hand, which was so sweet (Hubby was outside calling the family).

During that last procedure they had taken Jules from me to do the different tests and when they were finally done (including stitching me up) I could hold him again and feed him for the first time. It was magic.

About two hours after delivery they put me in a wheelchair (which was hard to get into from the bed as my legs weren't working at all because of the epidural) and brought us to my (private) hospital room at the maternity ward. Of course I didn't sleep at all, I was just staring at Jules. We waited so long for this moment... I was completely exhausted, but have never been happier.

The wait is over - our little man is here!

Our son was born on Monday, July 6 at 12:47 am, after 26+ hours of labor, weighing 3300 g (7 lbs 4 oz) and measuring 51 cm (20"). We're all doing great, and are now back home after three days in the hospital (standard in France).

I'll probably post a full birth report somewhere in the coming days and am also planning on starting a private blog with more personal info and updates on our little man. If/when I do so, I will of course let you know.