Statistics

Is what I got as answers from the RE to my questions about our failed IVF#2 and plans for FET#1 when we met with him on April 7.

(He actually tried to end the consult after five minutes, by saying, "so you don't have any questions?")

• Chance that the embryo won't survive the thaw? Yes, there's that chance. We won't know until the morning of the transfer. Next.
• Why did IVF#1 work and IVF#2 not? Well - there's only about a 30% chance of it working anyway, last time you were so lucky to be in that 30%, this time you were in the 70%. Next.
• Would assisted hatching be an option for the FET or a next IVF? Well, we do offer that technique here, but you'd have to talk to the embryologist to discuss whether if it's something they'd do in your case. Next.
• Would the day 2 transfer (of our failed IVF) versus the day 3 transfer (of our successful IVF) have played any role in the result? Well, it's up to the embryologists to decide when to set the transfer date.

OK, so... I wasted time and money with that consult, I would have been better of making an appointment with one of the embryologists (who are both very friendly and even though they are excellent scientists, they are less scientific in their doctor-patient relationship than our RE).

Luckily they are also very willing to talk to you over the phone, which I did a few days ago.

My main question I wanted answered was about the assisted hatching, as it would be relevant for the upcoming FET. Well, his answer was that they do it on occasion, but only after multiple IVF failures. As we've only had one failed IVF, we do not fall into that category (yet) and would have to have at least two or three failed cycles before they might consider this option.

I then also asked about the possible different outcome because day 2 transfer versus day 3 transfer and he said (yes, another statistic) that their lab gets the same percentage of pregnancies with day 2 or day 3 (and he explained to me that they usually do day 2 transfers, but if ER is on a Friday, then ET is on a Monday, so then it will be a day 3 transfer), so that it makes absolutely no difference. The only difference is between day 2/3 or day 5, when the embryos have developed into blastocysts - and that that could be a point of discussion for us if the upcoming FET will be unsuccessful as well.

He told me that for the moment, the only real risk is the frozen embryo not surviving the thaw, and since we only have one, that would mean the FET would be cancelled at the last minute. I'm well aware of that risk, but there's unfortunately nothing I (or anyone else) can do about it, so we'll just keep our fingers crossed and hope that our frosty is as strong as that little embryo in 2008 which turned into our gorgeous toddler.

AF just showed her face, so I called the RE's office to let them know. FET#1 is officially on!

Random thoughts

It's CD27, I'm anxious to start our FET, but I think my body is asking me to be a bit more patient. AF lasted almost until CD10 after the failed IVF, based on my CM I would say that I ovulated last week, but this morning I had this typical ovulation pain on the right side, so who knows what's happening right now (I didn't take any OPT). Consult with the RE is on Thursday (but he will not do any u/s or bloodwork, just talk for 10 minutes and charge me 70 euros).

I don't really know what to expect of his FET. We only have one embryo frozen, how big is the chance it won't thaw properly? It's the same Grade A excellent quality as one of the embies that was transferred for IVF#2 - which didn't make it. So why should I believe its frozen brother or sister will have a better chance?

With IVF#1 I was hopeful, but didn't expect much - we had six failed IUIs behind us, so BFN had become the norm. But it worked... Then with IVF#2 I was worried that they wouldn't be able to retrieve any eggs - there were less than the first time, but still a decent amount. Then I worried that they wouldn't fertilize - but they did, and actually better than the first time. So when those hurdles were taken, and we had three perfect embryos, I was convinced that it was going to work, just like last time, and that I might even be pregnant with twins.

So the BFN hit me hard. I felt exactly the way Sarah described it in her comment on my previous post. So maybe it's a good thing that I'm a bit pessimistic, it might work better (oh, the logic of an IFer...).

The insurance stuff is almost sorted. I got a confirmation for one of the forms I'd sent them copies of, but nothing had been reimbursed yet. So I called to check what happened to the other form and when I could expect to be paid back. Well, turns out they OK'ed all procedures (for both forms), but just bothered to send a confirmation for one. And regarding the payment - I have to send them back the printout of their electronic file before I can get paid. That's insane! We have an insurance card with electronic chip, which means that payments are automatically transferred from whichever medical office you're paying your bill for, to your insurance company and you will be reimbursed with a transfer directly into your bank account - no paperwork, no checks in the mail, everything electronic. Now I have to send them back a printout of these payments that were on-hold instead of that they just click a checkbox or whatever in their software at the same time that they OK the forms... Of course I did send the printouts back, because I want to be paid ASAP, but this is bureaucracy at its finest I must say.

FET plans and insurance stuff

When I picked my son up at the nanny's on Friday afternoon, I finally told her about the failed IVF. But I immediately wished I hadn't, because the reaction I got was so full of all the well-know clichés ("oh, just try again; you know, I know of this couple who tried everything, even adoption, then went on vacation, and tadaa, she was pregnant; the mother of one of the other kids she takes care of also had 'help' with kid #1, but then kid #2 came naturally, and then she had a m/c with kid #3 and they decided they that was it..."). I don't know why I had expected anything else, after all she's not the brightest of people (but even bright fertiles can say stupid things - my neighbor, who graciously helped out taking care of our son when we had to be at the clinic at 7 am for ER - also said something like "oh, it doesn't matter, just try again").

When I told my dad about it over the weekend, he had quite a good remark though: "maybe they just didn't know how to deal with your grief at that moment" (he must have been in similar situations since my mom died...). I guess he's right, but I also think that many people just don't understand that we IFers can really grief about a BFN. For me personally this BFN after IVF was a lot harder that the BFNs after IUIs (or timed IC), because with those I never even knew if fertilization had taken place at all, whereas here I had seen those two beautiful embryos...

On Saturday the paperwork for FET #1 came in the mail. A form to send to the insurance company so they'll reimburse the procedure + preceding u/s, bloodwork etc., a statement to sign for the clinic demanding the FET for our own couple (and thus proving we're still a couple, because, if you're not, then French law doesn't allow it), and the prescription. The treatment doesn't start on CD04, as the assistant had told me on Friday, but on CD07: 100 IU of Puregon on CD07, CD08 and CD09, then go in for first u/s and blood work on CD10 - continue until RE deems me 'ready' (no idea how long that would be - similar to IUI cycle?) - trigger - start progesterone suppositories two days later, (and ET also around that day?). So having read this I think I could have waited until my RE appointment on April 7 with getting all the paperwork and still cycle in April, but I'm still glad I already got everything, so now I know a little bit what to expect from the FET and I can get the paperwork to the insurance company well in time.

Regarding insurance paperwork - when we started to gear up for IVF #2, back in October, I was waiting for a confirmation from the state run, mandatory, health insurance/social security that my insurance had been switched from the payment center for salaried persons to the one for independent workers. I had set up my own business in May 2010, but the French bureaucracy of course needs almost six months before acknowledging the change. So when we had to fill in the insurance forms, I had to fill out the information from my old payment center, because I didn't know the details of the new one yet. Of course I got the confirmation of the change a week later, so I sent a letter to both payment centers, asking to transfer my file, especially those forms concerning ART... After a few weeks I got a new statement from my new payment center - confirming the 100% reimbursement of all procedures/meds concerning ART. Didn't hear anything about the two other forms I filled out in October, but with those it says 'if you don't hear anything within two weeks after submitting them, consider it approved'. So I didn't think about it anymore.

We had our cancelled cycle in November (due to my mom's passing), then our real IVF #2 in February, and then last week (on the day I got my BFN) I get a letter from the payment center that they got a request for reimbursement for these procedures (u/s, ER, ET) and they don't have the forms, so they can't pay me... (luckily these procedures are not as prohibitively expensive as they are in the US, it's 'only' 434 euros, but I'd still like to get it back!). So I sent them a letter, with copies of the two forms, copies of the letters I sent them before, and hope that that's enough. But now I want to hold off sending the new form for the FET, because some procedures on there (like the u/s, and ET) are similar to the ones for the fresh cycle, and I'm sure that if I send the form now, they're going to think this is in response to their letter and then when we'll have our FET, they will again say that the form is missing... Hmm, I hope I won't get tangled up too much into this bureaucratic stuff. I tried to call them this morning, but after being on hold for almost five minutes, the computer told me they had too many incoming calls at that moment and hung up...

Afraid of losing time

Today, without the distraction of my son (who's at the nanny's), is more difficult than yesterday. It started out OK, but then we arrived at the nanny's and I had intended to tell her about our failed IVF, so she would know why she had to take care of our son so much more than normal two weeks ago, and by doing so, hoping that her hurtful remarks that we should hurry up having a second baby would stop. But it wasn't the moment. Both her kids were there (preteen boy and teenage girl) and it just felt bad. So I just left.

Then I went to the lab to pick up my copy of Wednesday's beta test. While waiting, I saw that the lab technician who had drawn my blood on Wednesday was pregnant (I hadn't noticed on Wednesday). It stung. Somehow I had hoped that my beta would be super low, but still above 2 (so there might have been implantation), but it wasn't: <2.

I felt like crying when I left the lab. Back home I called the RE's office to make an appointment to discuss what went wrong with IVF #2 (not that I think he can enlighten me much on this) and what to expect from FET #1. I had called them yesterday as well, asking if a consult was necessary before the FET. The assistant said that it was up to me, but that she could also just mail me the prescription. Since I didn't think the RE would be able to say much about why IVF#2 failed, I opted to have the prescription mailed. But then hubby and I talked, and we decided it would be good to talk to the RE anyway (discuss why day 2 transfer, why day 2 frozen embryo, maybe even assisted hatching?), so that's why I called to make the appointment today.

Appointment is set for April 7 (earlier not possible). So the assistant said she would put away my file again and not mail me the FET prescription, because the RE would give it to me on April 7. After I'd hung up, my mind started racing again... what if next month's AF would show before the appointment, and I would thus run the risk of having to wait another month with the FET, because the treatment might start on CD01...?

Just the fact of looking into my agenda, thinking, ok, so maybe no FET until May, then if that fails, wait another month before being able to start IVF#3 (which I don't want to do at all right now), and with the long protocol, that would mean ER/ER late July/early August (hopefully just in time before the entire country, including RE and staff, would leave for a month of summer vacation)... which would mean my son would be almost three if and when that IVF attempt would be successful (plus, probably more importantly, I would be 38 by that time), made me cry.

After running around in circles for about an hour, I decided to call the RE's office again. Explained very apologetically what I was thinking/worried about and asked when treatment would start (CD04) and if she could maybe still mail me the subscription. "Comme vous voulez, Madame". OK, well, then, yes, please mail it to me (and I'm sorry for being such a nervous wreck - but I hope you understand a bit an IFer's mindset).

So I feel better about that now - and now that I wrote it all down (and thanks for reading my ramblings until the end), I should really get something done today - after all, this is supposed to be my work day.

Perfect day

Despite my sadness over the BFN, today I spent a perfect day with my son - we laughed, we played, we cuddled, we sang, and we rode our bike (he in his seat in front of me, babbling, pointing at things, sometimes looking up at me so I could plant a kiss on his face) along the river in the beautiful sunshine. I'm so glad I have him, my little miracle.

So this song is for him...

Lost

How desolate can one feel, at 6:15 am, staring at a pee stick, wishing for that second line to show up. Especially when just a moment ago, I woke from a nice dream in which that second line was definitely there.

I had an appointment at the lab at 9:15 for my first beta. I noticed some super light pink spotting before I left. Had my blood drawn. Went to Ikea to try to distract my mind. Felt crampy, with lower back pain. Typical first day menstrual symptoms.

I went to the bathroom. There was more blood. I cried.

Hubby decided not to return to work after our morning trip to Ikea, but to accompany me home. That was nice.

I called the lab at 4 pm. They confirmed what I already knew. I hugged hubby and cried more. I kept thinking about those two perfect 4-cell embryos that floated into my uterus, and then just died.

We picked up our son from the nanny's, and I thought about those two embryos again, what beautiful possibilities there could have been, what dreams I already made, but that were now gone forever.

Our son had fun playing with his friends, and didn't want to go home. The nanny made one of her typical innocent remarks, that we should just make another baby, so she could keep him. Hubby picked up our son, I turned away and cried behind my sunglasses.

I had a glass of wine with dinner. Maybe I'll have another one.

Cramps

Ugh, been having menstrual-type cramping almost all day. No spotting or bleeding though, and I had this too the day before beta with the first pregnancy, so still hopeful. Would like to POAS, but no First Response or similar pee sticks for sale here, and if my beta tomorrow is as low as it was last time (55), I'm afraid the regular ClearBlue stick will give a negative result, even if I might be pregnant. So will not POAS until tomorrow am, before I go to the lab.

French precision

I had to go to the lab this morning to get my blood drawn for an estradiol level check. If it would be below 500 pg/ml I would have to get a HCG booster shot... With IVF#1 my level was well above that (1982), but this time I wasn't so sure, as my boobs are still not sore (which starts freaking me out - to me this is the early sign of pregnancy, I had it with #1, but so far nothing this time). I first thought that if the level would be below 500, the chance of being pregnant would be about zero, but luckily, when I went through old emails I exchanged with a friend, I found out that she did have the hcg booster shot, and she had a successful pregnancy, so that eased my mind a bit.

It was very busy at the lab and the ladies were there usual charming self... I asked them at what time I could call for the results - important as if the level would indeed be below 500, I would have to go to the pharmacy to get the meds and then try to contact a nurse to give me the shot - they told me 3 pm.

So I called around 3:10 pm. "Are you sure the results would be ready at this time?" Yes, I asked this morning and you told me to call at 3... "Well, but normally we don't have the results before 4 pm". You told me to call at 3 pm, and I need to get this stuff sorted if my level is too low... After a few rounds of stupid music she finally came back to me to say that my level was above 1000. So no booster shot needed.

When I picked up my son at the nanny's around 5:30 pm I went by the lab to get the results (on paper this time). When she told me over the phone "over 1000" I assumed they hadn't completely finished testing or something and that the final number would be on the paper. No... the paper also says "> 1000". WFT? They can't give me a freaking number? I mean, it doesn't really matter, because it's over 500, so I don't need the shot, but come on, with IVF#1 they were able to give me an exact number, why not this time? You might wonder why I didn't ask them - well, she gave me the results in an envelope and I didn't open it until I was in the elevator on my way down again. As this was a tiny elevator, my son was freaking out (is afraid in small elevators since we almost got stuck in one a few weeks ago), so I didn't feel like going up again.

I'm really getting a bit fed up with this lab. This morning they also asked me twice what the date of my last period was. I told them, but I also said that it wasn't relevant, since I had a long IVF protocol... I'd prefer to have these IVF-related tests done at the clinic's lab - at least they don't ask stupid questions (like for the vaginal exam where the lab near my house manages to ask why I need this test done - do I have a yeast infection?) and they have their results a lot quicker than this lab. But the downside is that it's 30-45 minutes away by bus and metro while this other one is a 15-minute walk...

Anyway... I guess I'm happy that I didn't need the booster shot. Things seem to go OK inside me, at least as far as the lining is concerned... Still feeling bloated, slightly crampy sometimes, but not as much as last week, having night sweats and crazy dreams (but why don't my boobs hurt? - I googled a bit, apparently some women do have sore boobs with one pregnancy and not with the next. Hmm, ok, I hope I'm one of them then!). One more week until beta.

Well...

2WW/WUB is not making me a very happy woman...

Symptoms so far:

• twinges/cramping in uterus/ovaries area
• lower back pain
• feeling bloated
• crazy dreams
• emotional / grumpy: yesterday I started crying because my 19-month old didn't want to eat his lunch (he even threw it on the floor), this morning I bitched at hubby for asking me all kinds of questions that I didn't know the answer too (they were of an organizational kind, and normally I respond that I'm going to look it up for him/take care of it, but this morning I just told him I didn't know and he had to figure it out himself - he was not happy).

Other than that, nothing, my breasts are still not hurting or anything, so I'm a bit pessimistic (even though I know it's still super early).

Images

Two images keep floating into my head: the first is of the two embryos being brought into my uterus, the second one the photos of the three perfect 4-cell embryos the embryologist showed us before the transfer (no, we didn't get a copy).

These images make me happy. They also fill me with anxiety. I've followed enough blogs where I've seen photos of perfect looking embies, only to read a BFN report a few weeks later.

The anxiety is different than with IVF#1 - then, I was almost sure it would fail (but of course I hoped it wouldn't). Now, I sometimes wonder I'm too sure of it working, because the first one did.

I can hardly concentrate on anything besides reading IF blogs. I'm going back into my own blog archives to see what I wrote during the 2WW/WUB with IVF#1. Scold myself for not being more detailed (when did my breast get sore...?). Today I was sooo tired, but not being tired is more an exception than the rule since my baby was born, so it doesn't mean anything (although I do think I'm extra tired from all the emotions coming with ER and ET etc).

So yes, welcome back 2WW/WUB! Please don't drive me insane...

3 = 2 + 1

Embryo transfer was today. Called the embryologist around 9 am to see if everything was still OK. Yes - she told me three embryos were 'interesting', more info when we would get there around 11:30 am.

So, all of the eight eggs fertilized (initially seven, but apparently there was a late bloomer...), of which three were perfect-looking 4-cell embryos, the others were rather messy and fragmented, so not usable. Two of the three would be transferred, and the third one frozen.

After we'd seen the embryologist we waited a little while before the RE led us into the transfer room. Everything went very smoothly. It was u/s guided this time, so it was kind of cool (and surreal) to see the two embryos floating into my uterus.

Got a prescription for progesterone suppositories (that I already started the evening of the ER), baby aspirin, and the bloodwork for later.

Had a nice lunch with hubby afterward. First beta will be on March 9.

Seven

Just got off the phone with the embryologist. Seven eggs made it to the embryo stage. Yay! So much more than I expected, I dreaded the call because I was afraid they would tell me only two made it or something. Pfew! ET is probably tomorrow around 11:30 am, but I have to call the lab again tomorrow around 9 am to confirm.

And our lucky number is...

...8!

So yes, egg retrieval was today. We got up very early, woke up the little man at 6:10 am, dropped him off at the neighbors at 6:30 am and took the car to the clinic, where we arrived just before 7 am. Had to wait a little before a nurse brought us to my room, that I was sharing with another woman also there for an ER. Got paperwork sorted, changed into the hospital gown, said goodbye to hubby who was off to the lab, and then someone already came to wheel me to the OR.

The nurse told me Dr Speed (reference to IVF #1, see the blog archives) would do the procedure. This time that didn't make me more stressed, but brought a smile on my face - and when he walked in belting an enthusiastic "bonjour messieurs'dames" and "ah, c'est ma fiancée" I was instantly relaxed.

The nurse brought in the IV for the anesthetic. She first tried near my wrist, but that was so painful that she gave up and used the inside of my elbow instead. The anesthesiologist was the same as I'd had for the consult and he was very nice, so everything was good. The anesthetic hurt though! Must be different stuff than time, but it worked immediately, because I didn't even have a sensation that I was drifting away - felt the pain when he put it through the IV and then next thing I know I woke up in the recovery room (or was it still the OR, I don't remember). It took me a few seconds before I knew where I was, I first thought I had overslept and missed the ER!

I stayed for about 20 minutes in the recovery room, which looked more like a hallway and was also used for impromptu meetings by the nursing staff. A bit too much chatter for my foggy head I must say...

Then I was wheeled back to my room (it was 8:15 am by then), where I drifted in and out of sleep for about an hour, then I felt a bit better, and after an initial glass of water they also brought me some breakfast, which was appreciated. In the meantime my roommate had been brought back into the room as well and now we were both waiting for the embryologist to come tell us what the harvest score would be, and after that for the nurse to take out the IV needle and the anesthesiologist to sign the discharge papers.

The embryologist came by between noon and 1 pm. Result: 8 eggs retrieved. A bit disappointed, but no big surprise as the RE had said on Friday that there were 7 (this in contrast to my roommate, who was told on Saturday there were six follicles, only to hear today that 22 were retrieved! So she was quite shocked - have the feeling someone did not pay attention along the way, somehow I was glad when I found out she's with a different RE team than I am). I have to call the lab tomorrow to ask how many were fertilized and at what time I have to come in for the transfer on Thursday (so 2-day transfer this time instead of 3-day). So now we have everything crossed that out of the eight eggs we'll get at least one or two decent embryos that can be transferred back and grow into a healthy baby. Here's hoping...

Anesthesiologist came at 2:15 pm. By that time both my roommate and I were bored out of our heads. We were finally home about an hour later. Felt very tired and slightly crampy. Will make it an early night tonight.

CD32 -Triggered

Got myself the trigger shot tonight at 8:30 pm. I'm as ready as I can be and hoping for the best on Tuesday.

CD30 - getting pessimistic

Well, everything is basically still as OK as the last few days, but today I asked the RE how many (usable) follicles we can count on, and the answer is seven (...).

Last time (yes, 2.5 years ago) they retrieved 14 (of which eight were fertilized, of which only two were good enough to be transferred). So I'm a bit scared that it won't work this time. I know you only need one great one, and some smaller ones could still mature over the coming two days, but hmm, I'm a bit blue. Oh, and for the records, estradiol level is 2621 pg/ml today.

But the good news is that we do have a date set for ER and it will be Tuesday, so exactly the same cycle length as last time, even though I'm reacting differently to the stimulation and the dose for the last few days is also much higher than for IVF #1. I guess that's due to being 2.5 years older than last time? So tonight and tomorrow night again 225 IU Puregon injections, then triggering Sunday night.

Update: the RE's secretary called to say I should change back to 150 IU Puregon for tonight and tomorrow night (based on my pretty high estrogen level).

CD29 - second u/s

We all had to get up very early this morning so I could make the 7:30 am appointment at the clinic for u/s and blood draw and hubby could catch his 8 am TGV. This meant waking up our son at 6:30 am, which he did not appreciate at all - try to change his diaper and get him dressed while he was throwing a 'I don't want to wake up yet' tantrum, give him a bottle, deliver him to the neighbors (which hubby did, by that time I'd already left) who took him to the nanny... I was about 10 minutes early at the clinic, the female RE was there again and early as well, again just one person in front of me, so my turn was exactly at 7:30.

Lining was great at 8 mm. Then she looked at the follicles and first said ER would either be Saturday or Monday, but after closer inspection decided it would rather be Monday or Tuesday. I didn't ask the exact numbers but apart from a few that are already too big, there seem to be about five on each side which are now around 14 - 16 mm. I'll try to get more details tomorrow.

Got my blood work done right after that and just got the results: estrogen level is now at 1597 pg/ml.

I have to up my dose of Puregon from 150 IU to 225 IU tonight and then come back in for another u/s and blood draw tomorrow. When I asked the RE what time she said she didn't know yet. Told her about this morning with our little one. She told me I should just have asked to come in later, they could have taken me between patients... Secretary just called to confirm the dose for tonight and told me that the RE had mentioned I could come in at 11 am tomorrow (when she's starting her regular schedule)! Yeah, that relieves me of quite some organizational stress as hubby won't be back from his business trip until tomorrow evening. Have to get my blood work done earlier though, so they will have the results the same afternoon.

CD26 - First ultrasound

I had to be at the clinic this morning at 9:30 for the first ultrasound and blood draw to see how the stimming is going. I was early, only one woman in front of me and the RE (a woman whom I hadn't met before) was early too, so everything went pretty fast. I didn't get exact numbers, but the RE murmered something of about five follicles on each side. I don't know if that means 10 in total or 10 usuable in total, because there were some that were already measuring 17 or 18 mm and she told me those would be 'discarded' and the focus would be on the ones now measuring around 13 mm. In any case, I seem to respond quicker to the drugs than two years ago - when after six days of stimming follicles were only measuring around 10 mm. My estradiol level seems to be telling the same story: 545 pg/ml (while two years ago it was 310 on the same cycle day). Don't know if this is a good or bad thing or that it really doesn't matter...

I have to continue with the daily 150 IU Puregon and come back for the next u/s on Thursday morning. This time at 7:30 am - which will be a bit of a logistical nightmare as this is a day our toddler normally doesn't go to the nanny and on top of that hubby will be away on business. So hopefully with the help of my neighbor, who's kids go to the same nanny, and some flexibility on the nanny's part, I will be able to get it all sorted out.

I also had a consult with the anesthesiologist and went by the admission's office for my pre-admission. Everything was fine, but I have to get some additional blood work (coagulation) done, but will do that on Thursday, didn't feel like getting stabbed with the needle twice within a one-hour period.

CD20 - stimming day 1

Started with 150 IU Puregon again today. Six days at home (or actually on ski vacation right now!) and then going in for the first u/s on Monday. Same protocol as last time.

We met with the embryologist last Friday. Not much news, she went over our bloodwork and admin stuff again, same thing the RE did in October.

There was however one thing we wanted to check with her. Hubby's sperm test results in October showed some tiny presence of streptococus, so the RE had prescribed him antibiotics and to redo the test two weeks after the treatment. He did take the antibiotics right away, but could only redo the test a few weeks ago because of my mom's passing and everything. The result was about the same, so he again got a letter from the RE with a prescription for an antibiotics treatment. However, he had just taken one a few weeks ago, this time for dental surgery, so we were a little hesitant to start a third round of antibiotics when the previous two apparently hadn't done their work.

The doc still advised to take the antibiotics, but wait until I had been stimming for about four days, so the meds would still be active just before ER and there would't be strep in the culture used for the IVF. So that's what he'll do now, hopfully that will all work out OK.

We're on again!

Yes! AF showed her face again yesterday after a 2+ month absence. I don't think I've ever been so excited about it (we IF'ers live weird lives). So IVF #2(bis) is on!

Went to the nurse yesterday with toddler in tow to get my decapeptyl shot. It was obvious to him the nurse was going to do something to his mommy and he didn't like it. Could not be distracted by the big empty syringe the nurse offered him to play with. Just held my leg and wanted a hug when it was over.

Stimming starts in 19 days (during our ski vacation, but hey, at least u/s won't be until a week later so I don't have to drive back and forth from the Alps, or worse, cancel the vacation, or even worse, postpone the cycle - which I was all nervous about when I booked the trip a few weeks ago)...

Waiting for AF

Yes, that's right. After I had to cancel my cycle on November 16, I'm still waiting for AF to show up. Didn't think it would take that long. I now even realize more how all those hormone drugs (I assume especially the decapeptyl) mess up a woman's body. I want to start a new IVF cycle!! But hey, I guess I have to let nature take its course before I'm allowed to screw it up again...