5w4d - first scan

Yesterday we had our first ultrasound scan. Meet my little over-achiever! At 5w4d we saw a gestational sac (8,7 mm although the printed report later said 18 mm?!?), a yolk sack, and then a fetal pole of somewhere between 1.7 and 1.9 mm with a tiny flicker of a heart beat! Still too early to measure the heart rate, but it was there and oh, it felt soooo good to see it on the screen!

We went for a some coffee/tea with cake afterwards to celebrate.

My next appointments are as a 'regular pregnant woman': checkup with the OB on June 20th, next ultrasound on July 13.

The rest of the day was very stressful because of work and at the end of the day I felt like a complete professional failure (but that's something for a separate post, or not). And then when hubby came home he got mad because I had told his sister (whom he doesn't want to speak to anymore because of something that happened last summer) about the pregnancy. Ugh.

Third beta and some ramblings

Yesterday I went to the lab for my third and final beta: 1626! So still with a steady doubling time around 41 hours. All is good.

This also means I've graduated from my RE - we're on our own for our first scan, even though the RE would like to be kept updated (I still don't understand why they don't do the first scan at their clinic and then hand you over to your regular OBGYN, but oh, well, that's French logic for you).

With the first pregnancy this took me by surprise, but of course now I was prepared, so I booked the scan as soon as the results of my second beta were in. I go to separate OBs for the checkups and the scans (my OBGYN, who's actually a GP, but does mainly OBGYN and pediatrics, doesn't have u/s equipment). Both are always overbooked. So while I was thinking about a scan in the week of June 6 (we're away the week before), the 'u/s OB' proposed this Friday, which surprised me, because it's really early (5w4d), but she assured me it would be a good time to check the development and said that we might even be able to see a heartbeat. So I took the appointment, figuring that if we wouldn't see a heartbeat yet, I could try to get a second scan two weeks later. (My first regular OB appointment is not until June 20).

Of course, because I have nothing better to do, I consulted Dr Google on this as well, resulting in very vivid and strange dreams (one time even a nightmare involving my toddler, I will spare you the details, but I was quite shaken when I woke up) on the subject for the past couple of days/nights.

I POAS a total of three times (the day of my first beta, right between beta #1 and beta #2 and right between beta #2 and beta #3) and every time I look at those different gradations in intensity of the second line it puts a smile on my face.

Some minor symptoms are appearing as well. I love taking an afternoon nap, but at night I am often full of energy, feeling really happy, and I have difficulty falling asleep. My breasts don't hurt, but they seem to have become a bit firmer (after being a bit 'sloppy' as a result of eight months of breastfeeding), which is not a bad thing. I'm becoming more moody, which isn't helped at all by my toddler's "terrible two" tantrums. And generally I prefer sweat pants and comfy shirts to anything else (but I'll wear them only around the house, this is France after all!), much to hubby's dismay.

Second beta

Just got the results from my second beta test this morning: 337! This means a doubling time of 41.19 hours. I will have a third and final beta on Tuesday and then a first u/s next week Friday (5w4d).

The results are in...

My first beta, at 12dp2dt is 67!!!

Woohoo - first beta with IVF#1 was 55, so I find 67 to be a great number (I read somewhere that FETs give lower betas? Well not in my case)! Second beta will be on Friday. Keep your fingers crossed for great doubling numbers...

OMG!

I had to pee after having my blood drawn, there was a HPT in my bag, so I thought "what the heck", and used it. And OMG, a second line appeared!

I sat on the metro with a stupid grin on my face.

Now just, please, don't let this be a residue from the booster shot I had last week... I googled it and apparently it takes 24 hours to get 1000 IU of a HCG booster shot out of your system. I had a 1500 IU shot last Tuesday, so that should be gone by now, right..?!?!

Lab results will be in at 2 pm.

At the lab

Should have gone in earlier. Waiting room is packed...

I kept to my own promise not to POAS. Maybe I'll do it just after I get my blood drawn, but HPTs have pretty much always meant disaster for me, so I'm not sure... too afraid to see only one line. No AF yet, but usually that would be 15dpo, so not until tomorrow.

HCG booster shot

First of all, thank you for all your words of encouragement on my previous post, it means a lot to me!

Yesterday morning I had to get my blood drawn for an estradiol level check. This time I went to the clinic's lab and I was so glad I did - blood drawn around 7:30 am, results in by noon, much better turnaround time than the lab around the corner from where I live.

The deal with the estradiol level check is that if it's under 500 pg/ml, you have to get a 1500 IU HCG boosters shot. With IVF#1 it was 1980, with IVF#2 it was >1000, but this time the level was 324 pg/ml. Of course this first freaked me out completely, but then I realized that with the two fresh cycles, my estradiol level at trigger time was near 3000 because of all the stimming. This time there had been a little stimming, but not nearly as much as with a fresh cycle, and my estradiol level the day before triggering was at 304 pg/ml, so I guess it would only be logical that my current level wouldn't be so high either.

So I called a nurse to make an appointment for the shot - she would come by around 6 pm, enough time for me to let my son have his afternoon nap and get the meds at the pharmacy afterward. We came home from our little walk to the pharmacy (with tricycle, uphill, so a normal 10 minute walk now took us almost an hour - the way back went a lot faster, although there were the usual distractions of phone booths, parking meters, garage doors that would or wouldn't open, etc.) just before the nurse arrived about 20 minutes before schedule.

She gave me the shot, but when I looked at the box I was confused - she had used two ampules, but there were still 10 left in the box. Why? In case you screw up? There was only one syringe provided and the two ampules she used (powder and solvent) were sufficient for the 1500 IU, but still, those things make me nervous. I just don't get pharmaceutical companies.

Other than that I have nothing to report, no new symptoms, nothing.

5dp2dt - too normal

I don't really have anything to report. I'm feeling fine. No symptoms whatsoever, except for the occasional lower back pain and light abdominal cramping. I'm already starting to think about a next fresh IVF cycle...

Relaxing

My RE doesn't believe in (bed)rest after transfer, and I don't really think it makes a difference either, but after bringing my son to the sitter, buying groceries and getting my post-transfer prescriptions filled, I got home, and I didn't really feel like doing anything (besides reading blogs). So I did this:

Btw, the book is totally awesome (but in Dutch, and I don't think it was translated into English). It's called "Letters to Sleeping Beauty" - every day of the year, for an entire year, the prince, who's on his way to kiss Sleeping Beauty, writes her a letter. One day optimistic, the next desperate, etc. - very humorous and philosophical.

Another award!

Wow, it really is award season in blog land! The amazing St. Elsewhere, from My Lady of the Lantern, awarded me with the Stylish Blogger Award.

It's about the same exercise as for the Versatile Blogger Award:

*Put the image on your blog
*Thank and link back to the person who gave you the award
*Say seven things about yourself
*Pass the award on to 10-15 other bloggers you feel deserve this award

*Contact the awarded bloggers to let them know they've won

With the first two items covered, here we go for seven things about me:

1. I cannot stand it when someone is wrong, I always have to correct them. My sister refers to this habit as me saying "no, it's not like that!" (which I said to her when I was four).
2. I am very much my mother's daughter. I realize that even more now that she's gone.
3. I find it hard to just sit down and relax (a habit inherited from my dad, and rooted in Dutch calvinism).
4. There is one lady at my pharmacy who's super nice and caring regarding my IF journey, but somehow I have the feeling she jinxes my chances (because I've been having BFNs every time she gave me my meds) - I almost walked out when I came in this morning to get my post-transfer prescription filled and saw her behind the counter. But then I told myself I'm not superstitious and went in anyway.
5. When we just moved here I was absolutely not into the warm meals for lunch (that last for two hours), but recently my ham, cheese, and peanut butter sandwiches have become increasingly boring.
6. I should be doing some serious work instead of spending so much time blogging, but especially during the 2ww I just can't seem to concentrate on anything else.
7. I wish the sea was still only a bike ride away.

I'll now pass this award on to:

(insert pause for a commercial break)

1. Emily @ keep calm and carry on
2. PJ @ double blessings
3. Corinne @ Dealing with DOR
4. Just Heather @ Life in Finland
5. Erika @ Something Beautiful
6. Shannon @ My Life in Stirrups
7. Preshus Me @ Preshus Me

And I'll keep it at that. It was hard enough to get to 15 blogs for the previous award show...

PUPO

Today was transfer day of our lone frozen embryo. I put on a necklace and earrings that belonged to my mother - somehow I needed her to be there with me today, especially since hubby couldn't accompany me either because he's in China for work.

Before I headed off to the clinic I had to call the embryologist to hear if it survived the thaw. Yes it did! Pfew, first hurdle taken.

I had to be at the clinic at 11:30 am. Was well on time, but unfortunately everyone else seemed to be running late. A little after noon the embryologist finally called me in, went through the paperwork, gave me a report of today's transfer to put in my file, and sent me on to the next waiting room, where I had to wait for the RE. Apparently I was the only one having a transfer today as the waiting room was completely empty and had to wait another 40 minutes before the RE finally arrived.

This time no u/s guided transfer, like with IVF#2, but a 'simple' transfer (that's how it's described on the report the embryologist gave me), done by my own RE. In a way I'm glad, because this is how it went with IVF#1 and that one worked (no, I'm not superstitious...).

The RE told me I could get up and dressed whenever I wanted. I stayed down for about five minutes, talking to my little embryo and tearing up when I told it he/she had an amazing bigger brother. Got dressed, went to the secretary to pay for Friday's u/s, Saturday's trigger and today's transfer and got my post-FET prescription. Had planned to have lunch with a friend who works close to the clinic, but since everything happened so much later than scheduled, she didn't have time anymore, so I went home.

Took my first baby aspirin this afternoon and will continue the progesterone suppositories that I started two days ago. First beta is in 12 days. I've promised myself that I will not POAS if my breast won't get sore, because that's the early sign my body gives me when I'm pregnant (said she who's only been pregnant once).

It's award season again!

Awards were handed out left and right during last week's ICLW and I was the lucky recipient of the Versatile Blogger Award, thanks to two wonderful ladies - Krissi @ Stress Free Infertility, and Summastarlet @ Just us... For Now.

With blog awards come rules, so here they are:

A) Grab the award: Done (see picture above);

B) Link back to the person who gave it to you: Krissi and Summastarlet (see above);

C) Share 10 things about yourself: I'm going to be really lazy here and link back to a) my IF ABC post, and b) a post from over two years ago when I received the Honest Scrap and Sisterhood Awards and had to perform a similar exercise;

D) Award 15 recently discovered blogs: wow, that's a lot - and many of my recently discovered blogs were also showered with awards last week, but luckily I also gained a few new commenters and followers, so hopefully the list below doesn't contain any repeat award winners. So without further ado, here are the winners (in no particular order):

1. The Barreness @ The Barreness's Blog
2. Joey @ The Childless Mom
3. Valery @ POF and now what
4. Fran @ Everyone Else But Me
5. Mr Thompson and me @ Viva la vida
6. Tami @ Just one more thing…
7. OliveLEAH @ Olive You
8. Chon @ My Path to Insanity & Beyond
9. tintedsky @ Waiting for u, baby
10. uneggsplained @ uneggsplained infertility
11. Angela and David @ a toddler, a triathlete and an entrepreneur
12. Lucy @ Diaries by Lucy
13. Lora @ Every day is a winding road
14. Jill's Infertility Document @ Infertility Unexplained
15. Kelli @ Cinderella wore glass slippers

and

E) let them know you awarded them - will do that tomorrow, time to go to sleep now.