Monday, December 1, 2008

Hurtful comments

No, thankfully not to me personally, but I did feel a bit violated anyway... Late yesterday evening I was reading the article Her Body, My Baby, on the New York Times website. Interesting read about someone who, after years of infertility and lost pregnancies, had a baby via gestational surrogacy. Some things she wrote about her fertility journey really hit home, other aspects I felt less related to.

Then I started reading some of the more than 300 comments... Many were about the choice of the two photos, which is indeed questionable I think. But others - and those were on the first page (and 'referred' the most) - were plain mean: That it's immoral for infertile couples to go on a quest for a biological baby - if we really want a child, our only option should be to adopt, because there are already enough children in the world; if we can't conceive, that's because it was meant to be, and we should just accept Darwin's fatalism and not burden the health care system. Etc., etc.

It made me sick. I'm not going to defend my IVF pregnancy here, because I know that those who read this blog are 'on my side', and don't need explaining. I'm glad I don't know anyone who thinks about it the way those commenters do, but if I'd meet one, I'd ban them from my life forever.

Not surprisingly, it took me a while to fall asleep.


emilythehopeless said...

that's awful.. people just do not think before they speak. and how can anyone really know what we go through without being there themselves!? it's so easy to dismiss us and say we should "just adopt".. but it's NOT that simple. everyone deserves and has the right to biological children. doesn't darwinism include intelligence!?!? sorry you had to be brought down by those insensitive and ignorant comments. hugs!

Anonymous said...

damn straight we're on your side, the only people that truly understand are those who have been through it, good luck to you!