Wednesday, January 16, 2013

The bracelet - 39

After this post and this one, another (overdue) post about my mother's bracelet. It should have been posted exactly a month ago, on December 16, 2012 - the day I turned 39! I don't really have an excuse, I wasn't too much caught up in celebrations - hubby was away on business, so I was alone with the kids. Early in the morning it seemed that the oldest was getting a stomach flu, but the idea of baking a chocolate birthday cake with mommy was apparently the best remedy, because all of his symptoms were suddenly gone!

I was born during the oil crisis and the Dutch government had decided to hold a few "car free Sundays". My mom's labor started in the early hours of such a Sunday. Before they headed to the hospital my dad called the police to ask for a 'laissez passer', which he easily got. He later told me he had hoped for a police escort, haha!

I imagine my birth being the best early Christmas present my parents got. They now had two healthy girls. They were in a new city, no longer tied to the hospital (and the nasty OB/GYN) where she delivered her first two children. Of course her new OB was aware of her history and my mom told me once that he had come to her (I think just after she'd given birth to me) to tell her they were able to deliver a live baby after a woman had come in with the same issue my mom had had with her firstborn (abruptio placenta). What she must have gone through hearing that news, I have no idea. I guess it was a good thing she had a healthy newborn in her arms herself.

My mom with me, 2 or 3 days old.
This was my third birthday without my mom. I'm not sure I'll ever get used to it.

1 comment:

St Elsewhere said...

Even though you are posting these late, these are beautiful posts - the kind that settle like the subtle scent of jasmine on a summer evening.

The picture is beautiful.

I think your mother has found it sheer relief that she was no longer in the hospital where her son was born, when she came to the hospital to give birth to you. I also figure that she would have found it very bittersweet to know what the doctor shared with her. It would have wrung her heart, but she would have been happy to know the other woman had a happy ending.

Hugs to you. And I am sure she knows how much you love her and miss her.

I don't know how to ask this, or if I am able to word it the right way, but I have always been curious about how you internalized your mother's loss of your dear brother? How did she keep you and your sister sensitized to it? Was he mentioned often? Did she have some specific customs to mark his memory? It is totally okay to not answer this, by the way.