Perfect Moment Monday - skiing with my son

Before Lori closes the list for the December 31st Perfect Moment Monday later today, here's my entry - still on a Monday, only two weeks too late...

I consulted the notes app on my phone to check which moment I'd choose to be my most perfect moment of the month (since last month I forgot what I actually wanted to write about and thus had to think of something else I decided I would make a note as soon as I'd notice a perfect moment). There were four moments I'd written down, all great, but the one I really want to write about I didn't note, but I didn't forget it either...

The first week of the Christmas break we went to the mountains for a week of skiing and other snow fun. I'd signed up our 3-year old for a 6-day initiation ski-class, every morning from 9:15 until 11:30. We had talked about it and he was excited, although he kept saying he wanted to go skiing with me. I explained that we could do that in the afternoons, but that he would have to learn how to ski from a real ski instructor. The first morning we were both nervous, the festive atmosphere of anticipation in the car and at the ski rental place quickly changed when he was signed in for class, was told to stand in line behind the other kids and realized that mommy and daddy were not going to stay. He started crying and screaming - I let the instructors deal with it first, but they quickly gave up and just left him standing, while taking the next kid in line. So I went in and tried to calm him down. Almost impossible. After about half an hour we left anyway, hoping he would calm down and join the other kids. So with heavy hearts we went for a coffee and came back about 45 minutes later, only to see that he had indeed calmed down, but had taken off his skis and was just playing by himself in the snow. The instructors only talked to him when we was throwing snow balls at them or the other kids... So cursing the instructors under my breath for not being a bit more persistent in trying to get him to join the others, plus not trying to give him some self confidence (once they'd signed him in they just told him to get in line. Not one of the instructors introduced him-/herself to the kids, nor did they explain to them what they were going to do), I stepped in again, got his skis on, and took him by the hand, up the little hill (on a sort of carpet), and then hands on the knees going down. It went OK, he smiled again, and was willing to do another round. The head instructor told me to get out. I did. Our son later started crying again because he wanted to take the little rope lift but he was not allowed. Luckily the class was over five minutes later...

I wondered if should cancel the ski class and just teach him myself, but I also remember that I never liked skiing lessons when I was a kid, but now I love skiing, so we probably just had to go through it. Luckily the rest of the week went much better (we also learned to just give him a big kiss and take off immediately, even though I would have loved to watch him in class, it was better not to stay) and he did learn the very first skiing basics. We went skiing together two afternoons - first I took him between my legs, holding him under his arms, but that was too easy for him: he would just hang in my arms and not stand on his skis at all... So we changed it to having him next to me and both holding on to one of my ski poles. This worked perfectly! Of course we only took very easy slopes, but even then we sometimes picked up a little speed. He would talk to me and it would go something like this (of course not in English, but in Dutch and/or French): "go faster mommy! Oh I'm scared! Yay that was fun! Hahaha! Again!". There are people who complain that when going on a ski vacation with young kids will not allow you to really ski yourself, so they try to get there kids in ski class + daycare at the ski resort. I don't judge that, I sneaked out one afternoon as well to go skiing with a friend while hubby watched the (napping) kids, but the giggles I heard next to me when skiing with my son were equally, if not more rewarding than a perfect adrenaline-filled downhill run. I feel blessed that I now have children I can share my love for skiing with and think back with fond memories of the times I went skiing with my dad (my mom was afraid of heights and stayed away from the slopes, she preferred cross country skiing). It was a true Perfect Moment of which I hope there will be a few more this winter and the years to come.

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Perfect Moment Monday is about noticing a perfect moment rather than creating one. Perfect moments can be momentous or ordinary or somewhere in between.

On the last Monday of each month we engage in mindfulness about something that is right with our world. Everyone is welcome to join.

The bracelet - three firstborns

As a follow-up of this post, I had planned to post this in July, but then so many things got in the way that it was never finished and kept in my drafts folder way too long.

July used to be a sad month for my mother, as it holds the day she gave birth to her firstborn, a stillborn son.

But then, 33 years later, my sister made it a bit brighter month, by giving birth to her firstborn, a healthy boy, on July 5th. My parents had planned to arrive in time for the birth (my sister lives in California, my parents in Holland), but as the boy decided to come earlier than the due date, they were too late. At the time I was still living in the US, so I flew to California to help out the first few days, until my parents arrived. We then spent some time all together (my husband also came over in the weekend), which was pretty special (and perhaps a bit overwhelming for my sister as well). My parents were as proud and happy as grandparents can be.

My nephew turned 10 this summer. We took him rock climbing as a birthday present when the whole family came to France in August.

Another seven years later (thank you IF...) another firstborn was expected. Mine. It would be my parents' third grandchild. My mother, always anxious the last few weeks before a due date, wanted to be around again, even though I thought we had agreed they would not come before the baby's arrival as per our wishes... But her restlessness was too strong, so they came on the due date itself, only the baby decided it would stay put for another 10 days... It caused a lot of stress, even anger on DH's part, that took a long time to settle. I wrote a little bit about it here. But there was a lot of joy too. His coin on the bracelet is bigger than that of the other grandchildren, because they jeweler didn't have the smaller size in stock at the time, but my mom told me he also deserved it, the much wanted child... This miracle boy turned three on July 6th, yes just one day after his cousin (and if you would keep the Pacific time zone, they were born on the same day). We celebrated it at the beach in Holland.

Before she died, my mom told me July had now turned from a dark to a happy month for her, celebrating the birthdays of her two grandsons.

The heart on the bracelet belongs to her own firstborn, my brother, born still on July 23rd. I wrote about it here. I wish I could have talked more about it with my mom, especially after I'd become a mother myself. After she died, my dad decided he wanted their son's name engraved on her tombstone as well - he was torn that he hadn't thought of it before she died, and he hadn't been able to share it with her. I don't think it matters, I think somehow she knows it anyway, and it feels good to see those two names together, engraved in the glass, especially now that my dad has a new partner and will most likely not be buried next to my mom when his time comes. It somehow feels she's less alone.

Good intentions

I feel like this blog is getting into the same category as my New Yorker subscription. I still have it, but don't have/take time for it, so the rational thing to do would be to close it down/not renew my subscription. But doing that would mean (at least to me) to me I'm stuck in my own little mommy-world. No more connections to my bloggy friends, no more insights into the world's news. And I say to myself that not having time is actually a lame excuse. Because apparently I have a lot of time browsing aimlessly around the internet. And it seems it wouldn't be so hard to say 'I write a blog post each Tuesday, I read the New Yorker on Mondays and Fridays' or something along those lines. So maybe I should just do that. Because even when a kid is sick, and I have to cancel my shopping spree (sale has officially started yesterday - yes, here in France the government decides when the sale starts and ends, ha!) or lunch with friends (that I already had to cancel last time because of a strike at the school restaurant), these are things I can do when said kid is asleep. I just have to decide not to take a nap myself... So watch this space, something might be happening on Tuesday (or whatever day I decide to write a blog post - at least this is it for now, because said kid just woke up)!

Perfect Moment Monday - when all is quiet

Yay, I finally managed to write another PMM post! Not that I haven't experienced perfect moments in the past few months... I would have loved to write about our son's third birthday at the beach in Holland - or how after a week-long challenging camping trip in the very hot south of France, our baby started enthusiastically kicking his legs and gave me the biggest smile when we opened our front door and he realized we were back home - or our eldest son's first (pre-)school day, how he was almost running to school, that's how excited he was.

The following Perfect Moment is however not the Perfect Moment I intended to write about. Two days ago I remembered a moment and I thought that would be my November Perfect Moment. I should have made a note though. Because when I wanted to write about it yesterday, I had no idea what it was I wanted to write about anymore! I remembered another pretty perfect moment, but I wanted to write about the first one... so I didn't write one yesterday.

But then after I'd put our 3-year old to bed and sat in the semi-dark bedroom, hearing him softly getting comfortable under the covers, and watching the baby sleeping in his crib across from my chair, I knew that it didn't matter that I forgot the other moment, I had to write about this one.

This Perfect Moment I am experiencing every night, no matter if I've had a good or a bad day, if I'm tired (most of the time) or still full of energy (very very rarely these days). Even if I just (almost) lost my patience with all the things my son tried again that evening to delay bedtime - when I'm in that chair (which is very comfy btw), and all is quiet, and I look at my two sons - one asleep, curled up in his crib, the other one still rotating his lovey like a helicopter above his duvet before Mr Sandman takes over - I am filled with immense joy and gratitude, for these two boys, for being their mother. Sometimes I feel like staying there with them the entire night, just watching them sleep...


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On the 4th Monday of each month we engage in mindfulness about something that is right with our world. Everyone is welcome to join. Perfect Moment Monday is about noticing a perfect moment rather than creating one. Perfect moments can be momentous or ordinary or somewhere in between. What Perfect Moment have you recently been aware of? Visit Write Mind Open Heart and share your comment love.

Trying to get out of the mud

I'm hesitant to start writing again. It's been such a long time... I've been reading all the blogs I follow, but mostly on my phone, and even though many times I'm thinking I should write a comment, it only rarely happened. I thought I would have more me-time once our oldest would start preschool and the baby would go to the sitter. That I would go out and find new work projects. But there was so much to unclutter first - the apartment, the admin, but especially my head... (I started playing Su.doku again, does that make any sense...?)

Our toddler has changed into a preschooler. It's amazing how a child can grow in such a short period of time. He loves it. It also wears him out (he goes there four days a week, of which two days are full days including 'cantine' and the two other days he has lunch at home), so it's good that he can recharge his batteries during the 2-week school holidays that will start this weekend.

Routine has changed too. We now cannot linger around in the morning, the school doors close at 8:40... If I'm lucky, hubby can walk our son to school and then take the bus to work. But more often than not he's either on a business trip or has an early morning meeting, so I'm left to drop off both kids. I don't do this by car or public transport. I don't walk either. I'm Dutch, so I do this by bike. But Holland is flat, and where we live it's not. I cannot afford an electric bike, so you get the idea where I get my work-out from every day (oh, and yes, after three of four times I decided I don't need to bother taking a shower before I drop the kids off...). First it's downhill to school (with a portion uphill too - either at the very beginning or at the very end, depending on which route I take), then back uphill to the sitter (she's in the complete opposite direction of the school, but I didn't want to start searching for a new sitter again when I'm very satisfied with this one - but yeah, organization-wise it's not the greatest solution). Then relatively flat back home (and to the shower).

It looks like this:

The baby is changing a lot too. He's sitting up by himself, army crawling and slowly getting on hands and knees (he makes about three to four moves before he goes back to army crawling). He eats everything you give him (all still pretty much in the baby food area) and is wearing the clothes his brother wore when he had already celebrated his first birthday (the baby is exactly nine months today). He is showing some signs of separation anxiety, but still smiles at everything. But of course no-one can make him laugh like his brother can.

There are many blog posts brewing in my head. It is my intention to finally write them down and bring this blog back to live. One step taken. I'm slowly getting there, now getting some paid work in would be nice too. 

Summer

My two kids have been kicking my ass these past few weeks. I've composed many blog posts in my head but there was never a time when I had enough energy to turn them into something real.

So... I guess I'm resorting to some bullet points before I will write something eloquent again (which might not be before September).

The highlight:

• Celebrating the toddler's 3rd birthday at the beach. It was gorgeous weather and there were enough adults present that there was always someone to run after the toddler or cuddle with the baby, so mommy had a great relaxing day too. 

The good:

• Our three-week vacation in Holland. Better weather than predicted, bike fun with the kids and seeing the toddler fall in love with the sea.
• Meeting fellow blogger Valery
• Starting the baby on solids - and especially being able to go to the market and buy all the great summer fruits and veggies and turning them into baby food! So far he loves carrots, green beans, zucchini, peach, nectarine and apricots. 
• Switching from breast to bottle. After initial refusal (which made me a bit nervous, because he had taken the bottle occasionally before without problems and now that I wanted to start the switch he didn't want to anymore - but it only lasted a few days). Still nursing mornings and evenings but very briefly. Seems the baby's now getting frustrated with how much effort it takes to get something out of the breast, while the bottle is quickly gulped down.
• Apart from the teething episodes (see below), the baby is slowly starting to sleep longer stretches at night. 
• My sister and her family arriving in the area (and staying for a few weeks).

Edit: the switching from breast to bottle should actually be under its own header called 'bittersweet'. The switch is complete now. I'm happy it wasn't such a struggle as with our first one, but still have very mixed emotions about being done with it. 

The bad:

• Baby's tooth #1 and #2 breaking through. Lots of horrible screaming, especially at night. And I'm thinking #3 is on its way too, because he's still very fussy and refused to eat his veggies two days in a row.
• Toddler deciding a good way to get his mom's attention is to start wetting his pants again... (at the sitter's he is completely dry, all the time). I've started with reducing time he can watch videos on my phone, but I think I need to take more drastic measures - taking away his pacifier (yes, he still has one, ugh) might work better.
• Toddler being wide awake at 6:30 am, tugging at my arm and telling me to get up because it's light outside, after a night where the baby would have woken me up at least three times.
• General sleep deprivation - I just don't want to be this tired anymore.

While most of the French have now gone on summer holidays, we're staying here until the 21st, when we will go camping for ten days near the Mediterranean (giving the toddler some more sea/beach time). My sister will be in the area until the 17th. She has done a home-exchange with people in the area and that house has a pool, which is great. I'm a little nervous about the camping, with the baby still not sleeping through the night (how on earth am I going to give him a warm bottle in the middle of the night...? will the kids be able to take an afternoon nap in a tent? etc) but also looking forward to some real family time again.

I have this idea about doing a blog post series about cultural differences. Hope to start that sooner than later, but I won't promise anything...

Perfect Moment Monday - Mont Blanc

Is it still Monday somewhere in the world? Hawaii maybe? I do have a few excuses though for being late: we're on vacation so kids are with me 100% of the time; hubby left his laptop at home so he used mine in order to try to avert too much work crises (yep, hubby doesn't have much of a vacation...). His laptop arrived by courier yesterday evening, so now I can blog again while the baby sleeps and the toddler plays.

One of the things I absolutely love about the city we live in is that on a clear day you can see the alps from the edge of our neighborhood. It always puts a smile on my face and I feel lighter, as if I can't just see those beautiful snow-capped mountains, but also breathe in the fresh mountain air. This only happens a few days a year, and on even less occasions it is clear enough that you can also see the Mont Blanc, Europe's highest mountain.

A few weeks ago it was a bright and sunny day, but it felt a bit hazy. So you can imagine my surprise when I arrived at the lookout point and not only saw the mountain range but also the Mont Blanc. It wasn't super clear, and many people probably missed it that day, but the faint outline was definitely there.

Seeing the Mont Blanc from the city is always very special to me. People might say that it is difficult to know which one is the Mont Blanc if you have never seen it before. But it isn't. Hubby and I like to compare seeing the Mont Blanc to meeting your life partner. Even if you've never seen it / met him/her before, you know it the moment you do. If you're not sure, it's not the Mont Blanc.

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On the 4th Monday of each month we engage in mindfulness about something that is right with our world. Everyone is welcome to join. Perfect Moment Monday is about noticing a perfect moment rather than creating one. Perfect moments can be momentous or ordinary or somewhere in between. What Perfect Moment have you recently been aware of? Visit Write Mind Open Heart and share your comment love.