Limerick challenge

I just found out through Baby Smiling in Back Seat that there's a limerick contest going on at Write Mind Open Heart (deadline today, so if you want to enter, hurry up). So of course I had to come up with something. It was a good distraction from the 2WW/WUB anxiety, but as you can see, it's still about the only thing on my mind right now...

The wait until beta is trying

Are my embryos sticking or dying?

But c'mon girl, you're strong

Just keep calm and carry on

One or two lines - I'm sure I'll be crying

Please vote for me! (voting opens March 4)!

Well...

2WW/WUB is not making me a very happy woman...

Symptoms so far:

• twinges/cramping in uterus/ovaries area
• lower back pain
• feeling bloated
• crazy dreams
• emotional / grumpy: yesterday I started crying because my 19-month old didn't want to eat his lunch (he even threw it on the floor), this morning I bitched at hubby for asking me all kinds of questions that I didn't know the answer too (they were of an organizational kind, and normally I respond that I'm going to look it up for him/take care of it, but this morning I just told him I didn't know and he had to figure it out himself - he was not happy).

Other than that, nothing, my breasts are still not hurting or anything, so I'm a bit pessimistic (even though I know it's still super early).

Images

Two images keep floating into my head: the first is of the two embryos being brought into my uterus, the second one the photos of the three perfect 4-cell embryos the embryologist showed us before the transfer (no, we didn't get a copy).

These images make me happy. They also fill me with anxiety. I've followed enough blogs where I've seen photos of perfect looking embies, only to read a BFN report a few weeks later.

The anxiety is different than with IVF#1 - then, I was almost sure it would fail (but of course I hoped it wouldn't). Now, I sometimes wonder I'm too sure of it working, because the first one did.

I can hardly concentrate on anything besides reading IF blogs. I'm going back into my own blog archives to see what I wrote during the 2WW/WUB with IVF#1. Scold myself for not being more detailed (when did my breast get sore...?). Today I was sooo tired, but not being tired is more an exception than the rule since my baby was born, so it doesn't mean anything (although I do think I'm extra tired from all the emotions coming with ER and ET etc).

So yes, welcome back 2WW/WUB! Please don't drive me insane...

3 = 2 + 1

Embryo transfer was today. Called the embryologist around 9 am to see if everything was still OK. Yes - she told me three embryos were 'interesting', more info when we would get there around 11:30 am.

So, all of the eight eggs fertilized (initially seven, but apparently there was a late bloomer...), of which three were perfect-looking 4-cell embryos, the others were rather messy and fragmented, so not usable. Two of the three would be transferred, and the third one frozen.

After we'd seen the embryologist we waited a little while before the RE led us into the transfer room. Everything went very smoothly. It was u/s guided this time, so it was kind of cool (and surreal) to see the two embryos floating into my uterus.

Got a prescription for progesterone suppositories (that I already started the evening of the ER), baby aspirin, and the bloodwork for later.

Had a nice lunch with hubby afterward. First beta will be on March 9.

Seven

Just got off the phone with the embryologist. Seven eggs made it to the embryo stage. Yay! So much more than I expected, I dreaded the call because I was afraid they would tell me only two made it or something. Pfew! ET is probably tomorrow around 11:30 am, but I have to call the lab again tomorrow around 9 am to confirm.

And our lucky number is...

...8!

So yes, egg retrieval was today. We got up very early, woke up the little man at 6:10 am, dropped him off at the neighbors at 6:30 am and took the car to the clinic, where we arrived just before 7 am. Had to wait a little before a nurse brought us to my room, that I was sharing with another woman also there for an ER. Got paperwork sorted, changed into the hospital gown, said goodbye to hubby who was off to the lab, and then someone already came to wheel me to the OR.

The nurse told me Dr Speed (reference to IVF #1, see the blog archives) would do the procedure. This time that didn't make me more stressed, but brought a smile on my face - and when he walked in belting an enthusiastic "bonjour messieurs'dames" and "ah, c'est ma fiancée" I was instantly relaxed.

The nurse brought in the IV for the anesthetic. She first tried near my wrist, but that was so painful that she gave up and used the inside of my elbow instead. The anesthesiologist was the same as I'd had for the consult and he was very nice, so everything was good. The anesthetic hurt though! Must be different stuff than time, but it worked immediately, because I didn't even have a sensation that I was drifting away - felt the pain when he put it through the IV and then next thing I know I woke up in the recovery room (or was it still the OR, I don't remember). It took me a few seconds before I knew where I was, I first thought I had overslept and missed the ER!

I stayed for about 20 minutes in the recovery room, which looked more like a hallway and was also used for impromptu meetings by the nursing staff. A bit too much chatter for my foggy head I must say...

Then I was wheeled back to my room (it was 8:15 am by then), where I drifted in and out of sleep for about an hour, then I felt a bit better, and after an initial glass of water they also brought me some breakfast, which was appreciated. In the meantime my roommate had been brought back into the room as well and now we were both waiting for the embryologist to come tell us what the harvest score would be, and after that for the nurse to take out the IV needle and the anesthesiologist to sign the discharge papers.

The embryologist came by between noon and 1 pm. Result: 8 eggs retrieved. A bit disappointed, but no big surprise as the RE had said on Friday that there were 7 (this in contrast to my roommate, who was told on Saturday there were six follicles, only to hear today that 22 were retrieved! So she was quite shocked - have the feeling someone did not pay attention along the way, somehow I was glad when I found out she's with a different RE team than I am). I have to call the lab tomorrow to ask how many were fertilized and at what time I have to come in for the transfer on Thursday (so 2-day transfer this time instead of 3-day). So now we have everything crossed that out of the eight eggs we'll get at least one or two decent embryos that can be transferred back and grow into a healthy baby. Here's hoping...

Anesthesiologist came at 2:15 pm. By that time both my roommate and I were bored out of our heads. We were finally home about an hour later. Felt very tired and slightly crampy. Will make it an early night tonight.

CD32 -Triggered

Got myself the trigger shot tonight at 8:30 pm. I'm as ready as I can be and hoping for the best on Tuesday.

CD30 - getting pessimistic

Well, everything is basically still as OK as the last few days, but today I asked the RE how many (usable) follicles we can count on, and the answer is seven (...).

Last time (yes, 2.5 years ago) they retrieved 14 (of which eight were fertilized, of which only two were good enough to be transferred). So I'm a bit scared that it won't work this time. I know you only need one great one, and some smaller ones could still mature over the coming two days, but hmm, I'm a bit blue. Oh, and for the records, estradiol level is 2621 pg/ml today.

But the good news is that we do have a date set for ER and it will be Tuesday, so exactly the same cycle length as last time, even though I'm reacting differently to the stimulation and the dose for the last few days is also much higher than for IVF #1. I guess that's due to being 2.5 years older than last time? So tonight and tomorrow night again 225 IU Puregon injections, then triggering Sunday night.

Update: the RE's secretary called to say I should change back to 150 IU Puregon for tonight and tomorrow night (based on my pretty high estrogen level).

CD29 - second u/s

We all had to get up very early this morning so I could make the 7:30 am appointment at the clinic for u/s and blood draw and hubby could catch his 8 am TGV. This meant waking up our son at 6:30 am, which he did not appreciate at all - try to change his diaper and get him dressed while he was throwing a 'I don't want to wake up yet' tantrum, give him a bottle, deliver him to the neighbors (which hubby did, by that time I'd already left) who took him to the nanny... I was about 10 minutes early at the clinic, the female RE was there again and early as well, again just one person in front of me, so my turn was exactly at 7:30.

Lining was great at 8 mm. Then she looked at the follicles and first said ER would either be Saturday or Monday, but after closer inspection decided it would rather be Monday or Tuesday. I didn't ask the exact numbers but apart from a few that are already too big, there seem to be about five on each side which are now around 14 - 16 mm. I'll try to get more details tomorrow.

Got my blood work done right after that and just got the results: estrogen level is now at 1597 pg/ml.

I have to up my dose of Puregon from 150 IU to 225 IU tonight and then come back in for another u/s and blood draw tomorrow. When I asked the RE what time she said she didn't know yet. Told her about this morning with our little one. She told me I should just have asked to come in later, they could have taken me between patients... Secretary just called to confirm the dose for tonight and told me that the RE had mentioned I could come in at 11 am tomorrow (when she's starting her regular schedule)! Yeah, that relieves me of quite some organizational stress as hubby won't be back from his business trip until tomorrow evening. Have to get my blood work done earlier though, so they will have the results the same afternoon.

CD26 - First ultrasound

I had to be at the clinic this morning at 9:30 for the first ultrasound and blood draw to see how the stimming is going. I was early, only one woman in front of me and the RE (a woman whom I hadn't met before) was early too, so everything went pretty fast. I didn't get exact numbers, but the RE murmered something of about five follicles on each side. I don't know if that means 10 in total or 10 usuable in total, because there were some that were already measuring 17 or 18 mm and she told me those would be 'discarded' and the focus would be on the ones now measuring around 13 mm. In any case, I seem to respond quicker to the drugs than two years ago - when after six days of stimming follicles were only measuring around 10 mm. My estradiol level seems to be telling the same story: 545 pg/ml (while two years ago it was 310 on the same cycle day). Don't know if this is a good or bad thing or that it really doesn't matter...

I have to continue with the daily 150 IU Puregon and come back for the next u/s on Thursday morning. This time at 7:30 am - which will be a bit of a logistical nightmare as this is a day our toddler normally doesn't go to the nanny and on top of that hubby will be away on business. So hopefully with the help of my neighbor, who's kids go to the same nanny, and some flexibility on the nanny's part, I will be able to get it all sorted out.

I also had a consult with the anesthesiologist and went by the admission's office for my pre-admission. Everything was fine, but I have to get some additional blood work (coagulation) done, but will do that on Thursday, didn't feel like getting stabbed with the needle twice within a one-hour period.

CD20 - stimming day 1

Started with 150 IU Puregon again today. Six days at home (or actually on ski vacation right now!) and then going in for the first u/s on Monday. Same protocol as last time.

We met with the embryologist last Friday. Not much news, she went over our bloodwork and admin stuff again, same thing the RE did in October.

There was however one thing we wanted to check with her. Hubby's sperm test results in October showed some tiny presence of streptococus, so the RE had prescribed him antibiotics and to redo the test two weeks after the treatment. He did take the antibiotics right away, but could only redo the test a few weeks ago because of my mom's passing and everything. The result was about the same, so he again got a letter from the RE with a prescription for an antibiotics treatment. However, he had just taken one a few weeks ago, this time for dental surgery, so we were a little hesitant to start a third round of antibiotics when the previous two apparently hadn't done their work.

The doc still advised to take the antibiotics, but wait until I had been stimming for about four days, so the meds would still be active just before ER and there would't be strep in the culture used for the IVF. So that's what he'll do now, hopfully that will all work out OK.