FET plans and insurance stuff

When I picked my son up at the nanny's on Friday afternoon, I finally told her about the failed IVF. But I immediately wished I hadn't, because the reaction I got was so full of all the well-know clichés ("oh, just try again; you know, I know of this couple who tried everything, even adoption, then went on vacation, and tadaa, she was pregnant; the mother of one of the other kids she takes care of also had 'help' with kid #1, but then kid #2 came naturally, and then she had a m/c with kid #3 and they decided they that was it..."). I don't know why I had expected anything else, after all she's not the brightest of people (but even bright fertiles can say stupid things - my neighbor, who graciously helped out taking care of our son when we had to be at the clinic at 7 am for ER - also said something like "oh, it doesn't matter, just try again").

When I told my dad about it over the weekend, he had quite a good remark though: "maybe they just didn't know how to deal with your grief at that moment" (he must have been in similar situations since my mom died...). I guess he's right, but I also think that many people just don't understand that we IFers can really grief about a BFN. For me personally this BFN after IVF was a lot harder that the BFNs after IUIs (or timed IC), because with those I never even knew if fertilization had taken place at all, whereas here I had seen those two beautiful embryos...

On Saturday the paperwork for FET #1 came in the mail. A form to send to the insurance company so they'll reimburse the procedure + preceding u/s, bloodwork etc., a statement to sign for the clinic demanding the FET for our own couple (and thus proving we're still a couple, because, if you're not, then French law doesn't allow it), and the prescription. The treatment doesn't start on CD04, as the assistant had told me on Friday, but on CD07: 100 IU of Puregon on CD07, CD08 and CD09, then go in for first u/s and blood work on CD10 - continue until RE deems me 'ready' (no idea how long that would be - similar to IUI cycle?) - trigger - start progesterone suppositories two days later, (and ET also around that day?). So having read this I think I could have waited until my RE appointment on April 7 with getting all the paperwork and still cycle in April, but I'm still glad I already got everything, so now I know a little bit what to expect from the FET and I can get the paperwork to the insurance company well in time.

Regarding insurance paperwork - when we started to gear up for IVF #2, back in October, I was waiting for a confirmation from the state run, mandatory, health insurance/social security that my insurance had been switched from the payment center for salaried persons to the one for independent workers. I had set up my own business in May 2010, but the French bureaucracy of course needs almost six months before acknowledging the change. So when we had to fill in the insurance forms, I had to fill out the information from my old payment center, because I didn't know the details of the new one yet. Of course I got the confirmation of the change a week later, so I sent a letter to both payment centers, asking to transfer my file, especially those forms concerning ART... After a few weeks I got a new statement from my new payment center - confirming the 100% reimbursement of all procedures/meds concerning ART. Didn't hear anything about the two other forms I filled out in October, but with those it says 'if you don't hear anything within two weeks after submitting them, consider it approved'. So I didn't think about it anymore.

We had our cancelled cycle in November (due to my mom's passing), then our real IVF #2 in February, and then last week (on the day I got my BFN) I get a letter from the payment center that they got a request for reimbursement for these procedures (u/s, ER, ET) and they don't have the forms, so they can't pay me... (luckily these procedures are not as prohibitively expensive as they are in the US, it's 'only' 434 euros, but I'd still like to get it back!). So I sent them a letter, with copies of the two forms, copies of the letters I sent them before, and hope that that's enough. But now I want to hold off sending the new form for the FET, because some procedures on there (like the u/s, and ET) are similar to the ones for the fresh cycle, and I'm sure that if I send the form now, they're going to think this is in response to their letter and then when we'll have our FET, they will again say that the form is missing... Hmm, I hope I won't get tangled up too much into this bureaucratic stuff. I tried to call them this morning, but after being on hold for almost five minutes, the computer told me they had too many incoming calls at that moment and hung up...