BUSTED! There is such a thing as "unexplained infertility" - many of us in the IF community are diagnosed with it, and me and my hubby part of that group.
It is, however, a very difficult diagnosis - even though it still keeps all options open regarding treatment, it brings with it a big test in self confidence. I delayed fertility treatments because of nothing showing up on the tests, of everything being normal - and for not getting the real diagnosis until much later. After each test coming back normal, there would be someone in my entourage saying "just relax", "take a vacation", "wear some nice lingerie and drink a glass of wine". Or, probably even worse: "you're probably not trying hard enough" - it's a big slap in the face when you're hearing this while your marriage is almost falling apart because you've been charting, using OPKs, checked your CM, put a pillow under your butt, stood on your head, demanded your hubby to reschedule his business trips because of your monthly fertile window, which all resulted in sex having almost nothing to do with love making anymore but just becoming a chore.
But still, sometimes I have this weird guilty feeling, thinking that probably we really didn't try hard enough. We stopped the charting, the OPKs, the CM checks, and tried to go back to normal love making, because we didn't want our marriage to fall apart. Did we really do everything possible in trying to become pregnant naturally?
And then I have to remind myself, that yes, we did try hard enough, if we hadn't, then at least one of those six failed IUIs should have worked. No, infertility, even if there is no medical explanation, is a disease, and it has nothing to do with not trying hard enough.
This post is part of the "bust an infertility myth challenge" in honor of National Infertility Awareness Week® (and by doing so I'm trying to expand it from National to International, as I'm in France!). To get a basic understanding of infertility, please visit RESOLVE's Infertility 101 website. For more information about National Infertility Awareness Week®, please visit the NIAW website.
