9w0d - first OB appointment

First of all, my apologies for my badly written previous post. Somehow I had intended to write a really eloquent post about time and missing my mom, but it came out pretty horribly. Oh well...

Today was my first OB appointment. I still have to laugh when all the doctors here immediately grab the color wheel to determine how far along I am in my pregnancy/what my due date is. The ultrasound doc even asked me if I had one at home when I told her I was 5w4d pregnant before she had set the wheel to the right dates. I answered that no, I didn't, but that I do have internet...

When I made the appointment I had told the assistant about the pregnancy, but my OB hadn't checked my file yet, so she didn't know and was happily surprised when I told her. She knew about the FET (I had told her when I came in with my son a few months ago when he was sick - she also does pediatrics) and she kept repeating how happy she was for me during the consult.

She checked my BP (I forgot to ask the numbers), weight (+2 kg from pre-FET), breast and cervix (all fine) and gave me a prescription for all the blood tests I have to get done during my pregnancy. The T21 test has been moved up from the second to the first trimester, so that will have to be done right after my next appointment, when I'm around 13 weeks pregnant. We also set up appointments for the coming five months (up until the 7th month of pregnancy, from then on the consultations will still be with her, but at the hospital instead of her private practice).

The crampy belly/lower back pain seems to have been replaced by headaches. Not really an improvement, but for today another excuse not to get anything done that's on my to-do list (which I will regret again tomorrow of course).

Time

Sorry for being MIA for a while - I've been a bit too busy and with two long public holiday weekends my 'me-time' was limited.

Other than that I'm fine. I think I'm starting to get a little belly (hubby says it's because I eat too many cookies - he's crazy). My regular size pants don't fit anymore in the evenings. Until my first pregnancy I wore a size larger and I kept those clothes - they now come in very handy (I also unpacked some of my maternity clothes, but those are still way too big - also partly due to the fact that these are in my previous size). Worst part of the day for me is somewhere between lunch and dinner - my belly then feels slightly crampy, I have lower back pain and am tired. Sometimes the crampy belly prevents me from taking a good nap. I'm hungry most of the time. Yesterday I was watching a cooking program on TV after dinner and I swear, I could have eaten everything that I saw.

I got my registration for the hospital's l&d and maternity ward sorted - am #7 for the registrations that started this week for due dates end of January/early February (as I live in an area with many fertile myrtles and a popular hospital, you have to register pretty early on in your pregnancy to be sure there is a bed available for you).

Time is playing strange tricks on me - when I think about my due date (end of January), I picture it as being only about five months away, upcoming OB appointments or ultrasounds are in my idea somehow scheduled in November/December instead of June/July. It seems that I relate everything back to my first pregnancy (which debuted early October '08), but I wonder if it also is somehow linked to my mom's illness and passing (she received her 'death sentence' in last September and passed away in November), because when I read about friends' babies that were born in January/February I think they're only three months old instead of five - somehow I'm still stuck in November.

I'm feeling my mom's absence more and more now - my dad inquires about my health and feelings, but when I then tell him about my symptoms he will ask "is that all normal in this stage of pregnancy?" - so far away from what my mom's reaction would be - relating to her own pregnancies, or maybe my own first - I cannot call her anymore to tell her about new appointments or funny symptoms. I also missed her a lot when we were in the south of France two weeks ago, my dad (and his new girlfriend, but that's a whole other story) were with us - we were housesitting a friends' of my parents house. Our toddler just got over a stomach flu and was still waking up every morning at six (luckily he's now back to his usual routine of 7:30 am). Taking him to our bed for some extra snooze time was no option - he wanted to get up and mommy had to come with him. So I watched Sesame Street with my son while the rest of the house was still asleep, I made him a bottle and myself a cup of tea, and I longed for my mom, who was always an early riser, and who would have gotten up if she had heard us and made us some breakfast. Now the other adults didn't show their faces until two or three hours later (when my son and I felt ready to take a nap!).

Nauseous

Yeah... but most probably not pregnancy-related morning sickness but a stomach bug picked up from my toddler, who's been sick since Sunday evening.

Hubby wasn't feeling too great this morning either. Timing could hardly be worse - we're leaving tomorrow for the south of France for the long Ascension Day Weekend...

Ugh.

5w4d - first scan

Yesterday we had our first ultrasound scan. Meet my little over-achiever! At 5w4d we saw a gestational sac (8,7 mm although the printed report later said 18 mm?!?), a yolk sack, and then a fetal pole of somewhere between 1.7 and 1.9 mm with a tiny flicker of a heart beat! Still too early to measure the heart rate, but it was there and oh, it felt soooo good to see it on the screen!

We went for a some coffee/tea with cake afterwards to celebrate.

My next appointments are as a 'regular pregnant woman': checkup with the OB on June 20th, next ultrasound on July 13.

The rest of the day was very stressful because of work and at the end of the day I felt like a complete professional failure (but that's something for a separate post, or not). And then when hubby came home he got mad because I had told his sister (whom he doesn't want to speak to anymore because of something that happened last summer) about the pregnancy. Ugh.

Third beta and some ramblings

Yesterday I went to the lab for my third and final beta: 1626! So still with a steady doubling time around 41 hours. All is good.

This also means I've graduated from my RE - we're on our own for our first scan, even though the RE would like to be kept updated (I still don't understand why they don't do the first scan at their clinic and then hand you over to your regular OBGYN, but oh, well, that's French logic for you).

With the first pregnancy this took me by surprise, but of course now I was prepared, so I booked the scan as soon as the results of my second beta were in. I go to separate OBs for the checkups and the scans (my OBGYN, who's actually a GP, but does mainly OBGYN and pediatrics, doesn't have u/s equipment). Both are always overbooked. So while I was thinking about a scan in the week of June 6 (we're away the week before), the 'u/s OB' proposed this Friday, which surprised me, because it's really early (5w4d), but she assured me it would be a good time to check the development and said that we might even be able to see a heartbeat. So I took the appointment, figuring that if we wouldn't see a heartbeat yet, I could try to get a second scan two weeks later. (My first regular OB appointment is not until June 20).

Of course, because I have nothing better to do, I consulted Dr Google on this as well, resulting in very vivid and strange dreams (one time even a nightmare involving my toddler, I will spare you the details, but I was quite shaken when I woke up) on the subject for the past couple of days/nights.

I POAS a total of three times (the day of my first beta, right between beta #1 and beta #2 and right between beta #2 and beta #3) and every time I look at those different gradations in intensity of the second line it puts a smile on my face.

Some minor symptoms are appearing as well. I love taking an afternoon nap, but at night I am often full of energy, feeling really happy, and I have difficulty falling asleep. My breasts don't hurt, but they seem to have become a bit firmer (after being a bit 'sloppy' as a result of eight months of breastfeeding), which is not a bad thing. I'm becoming more moody, which isn't helped at all by my toddler's "terrible two" tantrums. And generally I prefer sweat pants and comfy shirts to anything else (but I'll wear them only around the house, this is France after all!), much to hubby's dismay.

Second beta

Just got the results from my second beta test this morning: 337! This means a doubling time of 41.19 hours. I will have a third and final beta on Tuesday and then a first u/s next week Friday (5w4d).

The results are in...

My first beta, at 12dp2dt is 67!!!

Woohoo - first beta with IVF#1 was 55, so I find 67 to be a great number (I read somewhere that FETs give lower betas? Well not in my case)! Second beta will be on Friday. Keep your fingers crossed for great doubling numbers...