13w0d - second OB appointment

Just came back from my OB appointment and subsequent blood tests. Everything is fine (which I already more or less knew from last Wednesday's ultrasound).

BP: 110/? (I thought she said 40, but that cannot be true - and I didn't ask again)

Weight: +2 kg from last month's appointment - and it's true, I can eat all day! Favorites: potatoes (especially potato salad), green beans (which I normally don't really like), chips - anything salty really, not much of a sweet tooth these days.

Cervix: long and closed

Uterus: 'supple' (intestines not so much - have horrible constipation. Doc prescribed me something for it, hopefully it'll help!)

Continuing the baby aspirin, but I can now stop the progesterone suppositories. Yay!

Overall she said that I gave the impression of being very serene about the pregnancy (I guess I am, in any case much more so than about work!).

Then after I saw the OB I went to the lab for the monthly blood work (toxoplasmosis) and urine sample plus the T21 blood test. Results for the latter will be communicated via my OB (might even have to wait until the next appointment...). Nuchal scan at the ultrasound showed no signs to worry though, so I hope the blood test will confirm that.

Still a little less than two weeks before we go on vacation! Can't wait...

Wordless Wednesday - 12 week scan

Sharing stories

A little over a month ago I had lunch with someone to ask her to come work with me and another woman on the organization of a one-day conference planned for November. It was the day of our first scan and somehow I told her that day that I was pregnant (I don't exactly remember why, but it had something to do with that she was telling me to go after this, do that, apply for jobs, etc. and I couldn't think of any good excuse so I just told her I was pregnant - it was also after that meeting that I wrote here that I felt like a complete professional failure).

Anyway… I knew that she had one child, and she mentioned that when applying for jobs she didn't mention her age, marital status and whether she had kids or not (it is quite common in France to provide all that info, including a picture of yourself…) because it had led to questions before about whether or not she wanted another child, etc. I didn't ask her about it, figuring there must be a story - secondary infertility, or something else.

She joined the team, got very active (which is great, and I love it, but it also drives me nuts because I see myself in her but can't do what she does right now because of my pregnancy fatigue) and last Thursday, during a break in our 6-hour meeting, she told me that she had had four miscarriages when trying for baby #2 - all just before the end of the first trimester. Her revelation was triggered by the fact that she asked about my pregnancy and I told her that I would have our 12-week scan next week (of course after hearing her story now I'm freaked out something is going to be horribly wrong - and the fact that hubby told me he has to be away for business that day doesn't make it any easier).

So of course I told her our IF story too, and heard more details about hers. When her employer found out about her first miscarriage, he summoned her into his office and asked her what the hell she had been thinking getting pregnant (as she had just been working there for nine months and recently had gotten a fixed contract - he made it seem like she was taking advantage of the situation). If I ever meet this guy I will punch him in the face!

Her doctors kept telling her that she was young and could still have lots of babies. Even after miscarriage #3… No one talked to her about RPL and she had to go back to her home country to get all the blood tests done (she did consult a lot with Dr Google, so she asked her doctors for lots of test, but most of them just ignored her), her new OB (a colleague of my RE - whom she also saw, btw, but then she fell pregnant again so he just referred her to the OB, who told her she was just worrying too much...).

When she started bleeding again - miscarriage #4 - and couldn't get hold of her OB, she went back to the one who delivered her son. Finally people started listening to her. She had a hysteroscopy, they found adenomyosis (endometriosis of the uterus). She's now under the care of another specialist, again trying naturally. I do hope she's now finally under proper medical care and her RPL will be taken very seriously. I cannot imagine how stressful those 13 weeks of the first trimester must be for her. I can only wish her lots of strength and luck.

I'm still here

Thanks St Elsewhere to giving me a little push to post again.

Have been wanting to do that for a long time, but either didn't have the energy or the time. Right now I have a splitting headache, but am babysitting at my neighbors (using our own wifi) while hubby is at home with our toddler - and since normally hubby doesn't want me to be typing away in the evening hours (while him sitting with his ipad on the couch all evening is perfectly OK and absolutely not the same thing…), I have to take the opportunity to update my blog.

Not that there's that much to tell, to be honest. I've been mainly either extremely busy or extremely tired. More the latter than the former, but since the fatigue makes me have to take naps, I get behind with my work, and don't ever seem to get through my to-do lists, which is frustrating the hell out of me.

I went to Holland for three days with our son, because I had to sign some papers for my dad's tax filing concerning the inheritance and my mom's tombstone (although it's not a stone, but glass, with pebbles underneath, but I don't know what I should call it) had been ready for a few weeks and I wanted to see that as well. My sister and her kids had arrived in Holland from California a few days earlier, so it was a nice opportunity to see them too.

But man, was it exhausting. First of all, my dad was super stressed and distracted (it already started at the airport when he came to pick us up - didn't know where he had parked the car, so we were wandering through the car park for a few minutes before we finally found it). This mainly because of his new relationship and the way my sister deals with it (not well). And also because this woman is so different from my mom, that he has to get used to that too - which makes him uncertain and stressed. And besides, they mainly communicate via text messages, which of course leads oftentimes to misunderstandings and almost break-ups etc. I can tell you, I'm already getting some training for when my son will hit puberty and get his first girlfriend! Pfff…

Then of course I tried to plan too many things in those three days, which I had to abandon almost immediately, because I was way too tired (partly due to the situation above, partly because my dad's house lacks blinds in front of his windows, and curtains didn't keep out the sun that was shining into my son's room at 5:30 am - so he would be wide awake by that time).

So I was somewhat relieved when the day arrived that we would fly home again. Only to find a message from the airline when I woke up that our direct morning flight had been cancelled and that they'd rebooked us on a flight in the afternoon via Paris. Ugh. Both flights were delayed as well. My son was a trooper on the first flight but fatigue overtook him on the second one, so he only cried, until he fell asleep, then woke up when they started the descend, and then cried again until we were in the terminal. To make it all complete, our luggage had stayed in Amsterdam and was only returned to us three days later…

Of course the next day I had belly cramps and lower back pain all day and it took me a while to recuperate. Last week was better, but trying to catch up on work, which worked relatively well, but still get frustrated when I see how much someone else on my team is getting done while I have a few items for this big project on my to-do list that have been there for about two months. I know, she's not pregnant (but ah, I will dedicate a post to her next as hers is not an easy story either), so I have an excuse, but I don't always want to have to hide behind that.

OK, I think I'm going to search for some chips here now (or call hubby to bring me some…)

9w0d - first OB appointment

First of all, my apologies for my badly written previous post. Somehow I had intended to write a really eloquent post about time and missing my mom, but it came out pretty horribly. Oh well...

Today was my first OB appointment. I still have to laugh when all the doctors here immediately grab the color wheel to determine how far along I am in my pregnancy/what my due date is. The ultrasound doc even asked me if I had one at home when I told her I was 5w4d pregnant before she had set the wheel to the right dates. I answered that no, I didn't, but that I do have internet...

When I made the appointment I had told the assistant about the pregnancy, but my OB hadn't checked my file yet, so she didn't know and was happily surprised when I told her. She knew about the FET (I had told her when I came in with my son a few months ago when he was sick - she also does pediatrics) and she kept repeating how happy she was for me during the consult.

She checked my BP (I forgot to ask the numbers), weight (+2 kg from pre-FET), breast and cervix (all fine) and gave me a prescription for all the blood tests I have to get done during my pregnancy. The T21 test has been moved up from the second to the first trimester, so that will have to be done right after my next appointment, when I'm around 13 weeks pregnant. We also set up appointments for the coming five months (up until the 7th month of pregnancy, from then on the consultations will still be with her, but at the hospital instead of her private practice).

The crampy belly/lower back pain seems to have been replaced by headaches. Not really an improvement, but for today another excuse not to get anything done that's on my to-do list (which I will regret again tomorrow of course).

Time

Sorry for being MIA for a while - I've been a bit too busy and with two long public holiday weekends my 'me-time' was limited.

Other than that I'm fine. I think I'm starting to get a little belly (hubby says it's because I eat too many cookies - he's crazy). My regular size pants don't fit anymore in the evenings. Until my first pregnancy I wore a size larger and I kept those clothes - they now come in very handy (I also unpacked some of my maternity clothes, but those are still way too big - also partly due to the fact that these are in my previous size). Worst part of the day for me is somewhere between lunch and dinner - my belly then feels slightly crampy, I have lower back pain and am tired. Sometimes the crampy belly prevents me from taking a good nap. I'm hungry most of the time. Yesterday I was watching a cooking program on TV after dinner and I swear, I could have eaten everything that I saw.

I got my registration for the hospital's l&d and maternity ward sorted - am #7 for the registrations that started this week for due dates end of January/early February (as I live in an area with many fertile myrtles and a popular hospital, you have to register pretty early on in your pregnancy to be sure there is a bed available for you).

Time is playing strange tricks on me - when I think about my due date (end of January), I picture it as being only about five months away, upcoming OB appointments or ultrasounds are in my idea somehow scheduled in November/December instead of June/July. It seems that I relate everything back to my first pregnancy (which debuted early October '08), but I wonder if it also is somehow linked to my mom's illness and passing (she received her 'death sentence' in last September and passed away in November), because when I read about friends' babies that were born in January/February I think they're only three months old instead of five - somehow I'm still stuck in November.

I'm feeling my mom's absence more and more now - my dad inquires about my health and feelings, but when I then tell him about my symptoms he will ask "is that all normal in this stage of pregnancy?" - so far away from what my mom's reaction would be - relating to her own pregnancies, or maybe my own first - I cannot call her anymore to tell her about new appointments or funny symptoms. I also missed her a lot when we were in the south of France two weeks ago, my dad (and his new girlfriend, but that's a whole other story) were with us - we were housesitting a friends' of my parents house. Our toddler just got over a stomach flu and was still waking up every morning at six (luckily he's now back to his usual routine of 7:30 am). Taking him to our bed for some extra snooze time was no option - he wanted to get up and mommy had to come with him. So I watched Sesame Street with my son while the rest of the house was still asleep, I made him a bottle and myself a cup of tea, and I longed for my mom, who was always an early riser, and who would have gotten up if she had heard us and made us some breakfast. Now the other adults didn't show their faces until two or three hours later (when my son and I felt ready to take a nap!).

Nauseous

Yeah... but most probably not pregnancy-related morning sickness but a stomach bug picked up from my toddler, who's been sick since Sunday evening.

Hubby wasn't feeling too great this morning either. Timing could hardly be worse - we're leaving tomorrow for the south of France for the long Ascension Day Weekend...

Ugh.