CD20 - stimming day 1

Started with 150 IU Puregon again today. Six days at home (or actually on ski vacation right now!) and then going in for the first u/s on Monday. Same protocol as last time.

We met with the embryologist last Friday. Not much news, she went over our bloodwork and admin stuff again, same thing the RE did in October.

There was however one thing we wanted to check with her. Hubby's sperm test results in October showed some tiny presence of streptococus, so the RE had prescribed him antibiotics and to redo the test two weeks after the treatment. He did take the antibiotics right away, but could only redo the test a few weeks ago because of my mom's passing and everything. The result was about the same, so he again got a letter from the RE with a prescription for an antibiotics treatment. However, he had just taken one a few weeks ago, this time for dental surgery, so we were a little hesitant to start a third round of antibiotics when the previous two apparently hadn't done their work.

The doc still advised to take the antibiotics, but wait until I had been stimming for about four days, so the meds would still be active just before ER and there would't be strep in the culture used for the IVF. So that's what he'll do now, hopfully that will all work out OK.

WiseGuy and Lola

My heart aches for WiseGuy, whose little Lola passed away two days after birth. WiseGuy was kept in the dark for almost a week. If you want to help remember Lola, please visit Kristin's blog.

We're on again!

Yes! AF showed her face again yesterday after a 2+ month absence. I don't think I've ever been so excited about it (we IF'ers live weird lives). So IVF #2(bis) is on!

Went to the nurse yesterday with toddler in tow to get my decapeptyl shot. It was obvious to him the nurse was going to do something to his mommy and he didn't like it. Could not be distracted by the big empty syringe the nurse offered him to play with. Just held my leg and wanted a hug when it was over.

Stimming starts in 19 days (during our ski vacation, but hey, at least u/s won't be until a week later so I don't have to drive back and forth from the Alps, or worse, cancel the vacation, or even worse, postpone the cycle - which I was all nervous about when I booked the trip a few weeks ago)...

Waiting for AF

Yes, that's right. After I had to cancel my cycle on November 16, I'm still waiting for AF to show up. Didn't think it would take that long. I now even realize more how all those hormone drugs (I assume especially the decapeptyl) mess up a woman's body. I want to start a new IVF cycle!! But hey, I guess I have to let nature take its course before I'm allowed to screw it up again...

My mom

My mother passed away peacefully at home on Friday morning, after a four-month battle with cancer that we knew she couldn't win. We were able to say our goodbyes, and to be at her side until the end. She was only 64 years old. Way too young to die. I still can't believe she's gone. I will miss her so much.

Last June, at home with us, before she got sick.

Cycle canceled

We drove to Holland yesterday. My dad called Sunday afternoon to tell me my mom had been asking for us. While we were driving up north, I called pharmacies in cities along the way to check if there might be one that would have some more Puregon for us (I only had enough for two or three more days of injections). Did find one in the end, which made us feel good, for just a short while. Arrived at my parents' place in the evening - even though my dad had told me she was doing much worse, I was still a bit shocked at how much sicker she was than when I last saw her, three weeks ago. I called my RE and we talked with my mom's physician this morning. She's entering the final stage - of course it might still take two or three weeks before she dies, but this is no time to leave her side. So... no injection tonight. We'll see when we can do another cycle.

CD21 - stimming has started!

Started stimming yesterday - 150 IU of Puregon - same protocol as two years ago. First u/s will be next Wednesday. No jitters at all this time while taking the injections. Apparently I've become a pro.

I do however have a weird feeling for another reason this cycle - I don't know if we'll be able to finish it properly (i.e. with ER and ET) because my mom's situation is deteriorating fast, so the chance that we have to go to Holland to be at her side is growing by the day. She has already said that she wants it to be over, no more pain, no more suffering. I can understand that and I respect it, even though I don't want to lose my mom, but oh, please, I don't want to have to break off this cycle.

I thought about not starting the Puregon and postponing everything - called the RE's office, my GP, and talked to a good friend, plus of course hubby. The logical thing to do seemed to discontinue, start again in a few months time, but on the other hand, we shouldn't put our life on hold for something that we can't control. So we decided to continue after all. It felt good giving myself the shot yesterday and today. We're keeping our fingers crossed.